All Things Hold Together

Hurt on Happy Days

2012-01-30T16:35:00.000-08:00

A friend of mine linked her friend's blog on facebook, I couldn't help but become instantly attached. I started reading their blog when their daughter Lydia became weeks away from her final days on earth. Her mother writes the most incredible, beautiful and vulnerable blog I have ever read. I check the blog daily which also means I cry daily!

It's so strange because I've never met these people. There is something universal about pain though. Something that unites people together, which is maybe why we often feel the need to complain about the pain we go through, it connects us to one another.

My dad's birthday is upon us and although he has not yet experienced his final days on earth, sometimes it feels it for those of us waiting out here. I can't call and wish him a happy birthday, or send him a package or give him a hug. It's a matter of waiting and I'm trying to wait as patiently as possible. I don't want nor do I need sympathy...it's different than that. It's just a longing, not in a bitter way but a deep black hole kind of way.

Lydia's birthday is today too! As I read her mothers anguish over missing her daughter I cry thinking of her pain. Imagining what it must be like to actually lose your own child after 8 short years. I know the pain I feel in missing my dad and I know that it doesn't come close to her pain but yet I feel connected. It's a bond of longing for a parent or a child.

Somedays hurt. Somedays are just fine.

I have to rest in the peace God has given us that the calling he has for my father in there, is greater than my hurt out here.

Philippians 4:7
And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

2012-01-29T14:08:00.000-08:00

We continued in the book of John today at church....I love preaching that is expository. Verse by verse is the most effective method for reading the Bible in context! Love it!

In today's passage, Jesus is preparing his desciples for when he leaves this earth (the crucifixion is about to happen) and he will send the Holy Spirit in his place to guide us. In the passage, the desciples grow uncomfortable and Jesus acknowledges their "sorrow" about him leaving.

The desciples wanted Jesus to stay, they wanted the direct teaching, they wanted communion with the Savior.

Later in the passage Jesus explains that he must leave so that the Holy Spirit can come to convict them of their sins.

This is the point in the sermon when I started to feel restlesness in my seat. God was clearing stating in this passage the reason for the Holy Spirit = conviction. I daily thank the Lord for the guidence the Holy Spirit gives me, but in actuality, he is opening my eyes to the sin in my heart. The main question I have to ask myself is....Do i reject what he shows me or do I repent?

Often I feel the "guilt" of my sin and try to correct it or who I sinned to, but I lack in repentence. I grieve God's heart more than man but my focus is always on man. I think the Bible uses the term "helper" in reference to the Spirit because without the Spirits help......as sinful and selfish, prideful human beings, we can't see our sin.

We can't repent for something we can't see. The Spirit gives sight to our sin.

Time to open my eyes and repent!

Looking Back

2012-01-25T16:45:00.000-08:00

I had a close friend in high school that I spent all of my time with. She was the cooler one between the two of us, all the guys liked her and I was her sidekick. The relationship was unique because we were nothing alike. I was reserved in my choices, I was a little dorky, and she was edgy. Of course time does something to all relationships by either deepening it or breaking it. Time went on and as years passed in high school, we naturally grew apart. We began to have nothing in common other than our history as friends.

College came and went and now we are 10 years out of high school-crazy! Thanks to facebook we have re-connected but I havent actually seen or spoke to her in a decade.

It's crazy what time can do, she's married and has a baby. She moved to Florida for her husbands job and has "settled" down. Now, ten years later, we finally have life in common again. Our lifestyles (although I am still childless) are similar in several areas and our perspectives seem to be aligning with what's important.

I can't wait to see this girl. We will be in her area visiting my grandma soon and I eagerly anticipate seeing her. It will be such a sweet moment to see ourselves all grown up.

The seasons of life are so intentional. God brings and takes people out of our lives and we just never know when he will bring them back. No matter what the season people are in our lives for, the reason is intentional!

World Wants....

2012-01-22T15:36:00.000-08:00

Todays sermon was incredible! I love a sermon so packed with scripture that i can't remember it all!

Pastor always brings the word of God, nothing but it, and I'm so thankful.

Our church has been working through the book of John, we are about 4 months in studying this book, verse by verse, chapter by chapter. We are currently in Ch. 15 and todays scripture was Jesus telling his desciples that if you truly love God (the trinity), that the world will hate you. It is impossible for us to love God and love the world. He then went on to explain that when we live our life for Christ, the world will oppose us because we aren't in agreeance with the choices the world makes. (One of my friends in bible study always says, "If you walk like the world, look like the world and talk like the world....you are the world.")

The most thought provoking part of the scripture was when Jesus said to his desciples that "they hated me first." In other words, your persecution and sufferage in life does not make you unique. All will be persecuted for Christ and just because you are feeling challenged by the world, does not give you entitlement to think you are the only one. The Bible promises all believers who are saved will face some form of persecution.

That will just about shut you up! It's hard for any American to actually speak the words "persecution" because we really have no concept of it. I do think of the believers who are physically persecuted in other countries, those hung, stoned, and tortured for refusing to denounce God's name. But, none the less, God understands even our idea of persecution here in the U.S.

Jesus has clearly stated in his word that the world will hate believers. Expect it.
Jesus was clear when he said that we aren't the first nor the only. Stop the pity.

Thank God for eternity......where the hate stops and praises of his name will be endless!

Moving On

2012-01-21T20:38:00.000-08:00

As much as I adore our humble home.....it's time to cut in some areas and the gas bill is one of them. After driving 30+ miles to work one way for the last three years, we are ready to get a little bit closer to where we spend most of our life. We wish we could move this little house and put it 20 miles down the road, we are so grateful that we have had such an awesome first home!!!

We bought our home through the Good Neighbor Next Door program through HUDD. It's a program that allows firefighters, cops, and teachers to purchase homes at 50% off. The government pays half of the purchase price. Praise the Lord, we were informed of the opportunity of GNND and snatched a great house!

Here is to another transition in life! Lord willing the house sells and we will be moving on!

http://www.movoto.com/real-estate/homes-for-sale/NC/Charlotte/10915-Wiltshire-Ln-411_2061442.htm

Puking does a body good!

2012-01-20T14:21:00.000-08:00

The last few days I have been more than under the weather, I've been face down in my toilet bowl! Yuck!

Although I have felt miserable, I have had a great confirmation. I woke up this morning feeling better but not wanting to pass on whatever I have to 90 other families through my students. So, I stayed home another day to recover.

It took me a few hours to decide whether or not I wanted to go into work. Today was such a great confirmation for me....I missed being at work. I missed hearing the kids ask me literally one million questions (most of them answerable with common sense), I missed eating my boring packed lunch in 20 minutes while glaring at children sitting in front of me to stop trading and throwing away food their mother bought them, I even missed my most "interesting" students that usually cause me to want to run my head into a concrete wall. Now that's a pretty great day. A day when you realize the job you pour your life into, is something you love. I think like all careers, I have days where I wonder if another opportunity would be better.

Then God humbles and reminds me ........glamour, money, and glitz aren't everything. Loving your calling is!

Can't wait to get back to work.....

Minimize

2012-01-15T16:29:00.000-08:00

John and I had stopped at Barnes and Noble to pick up a book we need for our bible study at church. It's called DOCTRINE and I'm already impressed! John made a pit stop while I grabbed a random book off the shelf to browse through.

I don't remember the title but I took a lot from the book in a matter of minutes. The book was written by a woman who was dedicating 7 months of her life to minimize in 7 areas of her life. She then journaled her experiences and it was pretty compelling to read her thoughts.

One of the months was all about clothing. She allowed herself to choose 7 outfits (14 pieces) and the rest she donated. She was amazed at how people sympathized with her over giving up something so "important" in life. She said it was incredibly freeing to not stress over looking this way or that. She also no longer looked at other peoples clothing as a form of judgement.

Another month was dedicated to minimizing "things." She chose 7 items DAILY to donate that she had in her house. She of course started with the junk room, moved to closets, her childrens bedrooms, etc. Her kids learned so much about learning to give up "things" and appreciate the things they have. When you live in a 2000 sq foot house (like the author did), you have plenty to of items to eliminate---think of all of the things we "put away" for now.

With all of that said, she was amazed at how much her perspective had changed, she had changed. We often hear so many church sermons on being thankful and not making idols. Just today, pastor was talking about the 10th commandment of coveting, which applies to everything. We always want what we don't have and it's a sin. The grass is not always greener and your grass is the grass GOD has given YOU.

In my own life, coveting can often be one of my greatest sins......that and pride. God hates both. I rarely covet "things" but I often covet opportunities, recognition, and success. My heart doesn't treasures and yearns for a feeling of corporate success. Both forms of coveting are equally sinful and I feel the need, with God's grace, to minimize in my life. My areas may look very different than the author's of the book, but we all have excess that pushes us away from God.

What's your excess?
What can you minimize?

Just an Idea

2012-01-14T15:40:00.000-08:00

On Thursday I had my students analyze a Martin Luther King Jr. article, create a timeline, and write a paragraph explaining the impact King has had on our society. I opened my class by asking students what they knew of King.....their responses were telling.

"He was african american" (true)
"He helped black people" (true)
"He freed the slaves" (not so much)

It's amazing to me that we keep our kids from school to "observe" holidays. Why aren't kids in school learning why we have that holiday ON the holiday? Can anyone honestly say they are at home, teaching their kids about veterans, MLK, or why we have Memorial day? I can't say that if I were a parent I would either.

I was amazed at how much I learned from one short biography of Martin Luther King ...... he really did it right, and he did it with class. I never knew he spent time in India studying Ghandi, or that he put his own family at even great risk for the sake of others. I pray that man is in Heaven, I pray he knew Jesus because I would have to think God was pleased with his heart.

In honor of Martin Luther King Jr., I hope to see you in heaven!

Walk it Out

2012-01-11T14:53:00.000-08:00

So much going on.....feels like a whirlwind this week. Meetings right and left, observations at work, John starting UNCC classes, tutoring, and the list goes on as it does for all of us.

With the busyness going on I have found myself exhausted by 7 pm and feeling completely unenergized! Last night John and I came up with a schedule and budget that will force us to do the things we know we want to do and should do....and we loved the first night!

I've noticed myself feeling very anxious about sleeping, so much so that I jump into bed and basically lay there and worry about if I will fall asleep or not, which of course hinders me from relaxing and actually sleeping.

So, the updated life plan to accomodate is TV off at 8, walk a mile or two depending on the night, shower, and read in bed. It was wonderful!!! I was beginning to wonder when John and I would have quality moments with all the hussle of things, but the walks really allow for conversation. The reading part we added as not only a relaxation tool but also an accountability tool. We've been lacking in reading the word and studying so we each chose a book that we have been wanting to read; my choice was SLAVE by John McArthur. The first chapter had me thinking about the content all day long.

I already feel a weight off my shoulders! I love routine, I thrive with consistancy, and I embrace knowing I have quality time with my husband. Nothing fancy. Nothing costly. Just real time.

Vows

2012-01-07T20:37:00.001-08:00

Did you know that Penguins mate for life?

Penguins are one of the few animals in the world that choose one mate and stick with it!

I'm thinking we should all start learning from the penguins! They've got it right!

Reminder

2012-01-05T17:02:00.001-08:00

God is so good. All the time.
Everyday.

So thankful.

Our Kids

2012-01-03T16:04:00.000-08:00

Some days I love going to work. Alot of days I love going to work! Today was one of those days......

After a great day of teaching I received 2 e-mails from parents, both were the same issue. Two of my students are so incredibly overwhelmed with school anxiety they are seeing therapist. One of the boys is the sweetest, most polite, cutest little guy and the other is equally as great. I NEVER would have known that either of them were struggling.

Both moms e-mailed me directly to share that the boys are having trouble making friends, they are crying at night, they feel overwhelmed with school, and they both are getting help.

My heart sank.

How sad.

How can two of my sweetest male students feel such isolation? How is it possible that they are struggling to make friends while other irritating and rude kids have more friends than they can count? I wish I could just tell them that they will run this world in a few years and that post high school most of the kids who matter now wont matter at all then.

Now I'm trying to develop a plan because that's what my brain naturally does. I'm a fixer and a doer.

Not really sure how to fix this.....but I want to.

A special visitor

2012-01-02T19:00:00.000-08:00

One of my cousins has dedicated his life to the mission field overseas. He serves in an area that I cannot share because his location is dangerous, his life is in jepordy on a daily basis if it is known why he is living there.

It's such a treat when he stops in Charlotte to stay with us. He has been here twice in the last 6 months while he awaits his return to the mission field. Currently he cannot return "home" because of the war conditions that are existing there.

While he is with us I always feel incredibly humbled and challenged. Here I am complaining about non-organic foods, my leather boots wearing down, and my jeans being just a little too tight. I have never once worried about my safety walking through town and I have not yet open heartedly considered making my life in the mission field. It's embarassing.....it's thought provoking.

I love that my cousin is so focused on spreading the gospel....man, I need to get to work!

Highlights of 2011

2011-12-31T15:16:00.001-08:00

This past year has been pretty unique....we have been given some crazy experiences, amazing memories, and lessons learned. I feel like this year had its growing pains, as all years do, but, I can say with 100% confidence that this year was full of the Lord's presence in our lives. The Lord faithfully met our needs and beyond, he blessed us with new relationships and time to grow the old ones, and he gave us a great year of marriage.

Here's the highlights of this year......some are memories to treasure, some are unforgettable lessons, and some were crazy experiences!

Being there to experience Grandpa passing in front of my eyes was crazy, but at the same time it was the most unique and spiritual experience I have ever had. What a day to celebrate- a true servant meeting his maker! Grandpa-you are missed!

Being foster parents was enlightening and the greatest learning experience we have ever had! We learned so much about ourselves, about parenting, and about hurt in the world. We will now be waiting just a tiny bit longer before we attempt parenting!

Old friends are irreplaceable. Our best friends met us at Cedar Point in Ohio and we hit a record breaking experience of 26 roller coasters in one day...many of them front row. Seriously, probably the most fun filled day of the year! Absolute Blast!!

New relationships blossomed this year as well! The Lord blessed us with the finances to travel to Colorado and be in a dear friends wedding. Such special people even though they are so far away.

I made a few friends in college that are "forever" friends. Seeing one of them get married this summer was a memorable day...we danced late into the night...laughed a lot...and of course cried! Sweet sweet day!

Being back at the place we met (SpringHill Camps) was crazy, so much has changed. The counselors there are so young (really we are just getting older). All of the memories from the summer we met lingered......this place is always in our hearts!

One year anniversary---relaxing, blissful, and dreamy! Love my husband and love being anywhere with him!

Christmas Adventures

2011-12-28T18:08:00.000-08:00

This year we did the usual.....we drove the country visiting family and all of the miles were worth it! We spent 6 days out of Charlotte and 5 of the 6 days were 8-10 hours in the car. Crazy!

There never seems to be enough time....there are always more people to see and every year there seems to be less and less time. The little time spent though....was awesome! It sure makes us miss home up north!

Here's to a few moments captured...minus all of the car time...

My post Christmas wish is that those who heard Jesus name this Christmas....think of him again before next years Christmas. He loves you. He was born for you!

Aliens and Christmas --- Truth (Part Three)

2011-12-20T20:52:00.000-08:00

Aliens and Christmas. Two stories, two perspectives. The sad reality? The story of a real alien’s experience on Christmas Eve is not the fantasy.

If we are being honest with ourselves, we would see that what this alien experienced is typical of Christmas Eve. You walk into a department store, you see “Happy Holiday’s”, and it would even be a wonder if it takes all day to here word Christmas. Santa and the North Pole are more popular Jesus and Bethlehem.

Christmas is a day that celebrates the birth of Jesus Christ. God in the flesh; God humbled himself, became man, took on the sin of the entire world (past, present, and future), hung on a cross in our place, descended to the dead, and rose and conquered the grave all so that we could have life and have it to the fullest.

If we could have this resonate in our hearts, part two could be obtainable. If we could understand the magnitude of the birth of our Savoir from the virgin Mary, this season would look completely different.

We place leaders, innovators, activists, entrepreneurs, etc…on pedestals. We diminish the day of the Lord’s birth to gifts. The Redeemer of the world was born and He alone is to be exalted.

We are living in a world where part one is the reality. By God’s grace we can see part two move from fantasy to reality. Through prayer God can bring a mighty change to the world, and we must be ready to be willing tools to be used as He desires!

--John

(To all of Kylie’s dedicated readers, thank you for allowing me to share some thoughts with you. Let me also assure all of you that my BEAUTIFUL wife will be returning to blog very, very soon!)

Christmas and Aliens --- Fantasy (Part Two)

2011-12-19T19:31:00.001-08:00

Guest Blogger: John Crowley

December 24, 2XXX

John,

There are things that I am so excited to share with you!

What a day! Everywhere I look I see signs that point to the miracle that occurred over 2,100 years ago. I chuckle when I think of stories that my grand-parents told me of a time when Christmas was about shopping and Santa! They told me that people didn’t even say Merry Christmas, instead, they settled for Happy Holidays.

People would be out shopping until mid-night, spend hours wrapping presents, and run around stressed trying to remember if they bought a gift for everyone on the list.

As I was driving to church tonight I passed churches that were full of people. Back in the day, I was told, Christmas was the only time of year people would go to church! It was humbling seeing people in church reflecting on the birth of our Savior. You could walk into almost any church and you would hear about how the world was to be redeemed through Jesus Christ!

There are still those that do not grasp what Christmas is all about, but they are in the minority.

I cannot even imagine a time when Christmas was focused on something other the Christ! It is even in the name!! I pray that in the future we will always keep the focus on Jesus. I would hate to see a day when children know more about Santa then they do of our Savior.

Sincerely,

Future John

Aliens and Christmas --- Reality (Part One)

2011-12-18T18:49:00.001-08:00

Guest Blogger: John Crowley

December 24, 2011

What a day! My fist day on earth seems to have come around the most exciting day of the year. I hardly know where to begin. So I never forget the important elements of this day that is coming tomorrow, I need to high-light all of the major elements.

First the time is called “Holidays” and they enjoy saying “Happy Holidays”. There are a few people that call this “Christmas” but they seem to be in the minority.

One of the most fascinating things I have discovered is that the adults tell their children that the presents they are getting are delivered by a fat man in a red suit that rides in a sleigh pulled by magic reindeer that fly. The children believe that this man (they call him Santa Clause) travels all around the world in one night delivering toys through the chimneys of homes.

I have learned that this is the season for giving. Everybody buys gifts for each other.

This is the season to be with family. This time of year is all about getting together with families and enjoying each others company. People travel all over the place to get together with loved ones.

I have learned that this time of year stores are open later then normal and that an army called salvation tries to collect money for the poor.

I have learned that Steve Jobs is a genius and that his new iphone can talk to you. I have learned that his itouch can hold thousands of songs (most of the kids want this as a present).

I have learned that there are video games that can be played over the internet with people from all over the world.

There is also a baby named Jesus that was born on this day. This seems to be big deal to some, although I am not sure why, but it is an after thought to others.

There are so many incredible things that happen this time of year. It is such a joyous time that I want to bring it home and start these magical traditions on my own planet.

I cannot wait to come back and share this Holiday next year!

Sincerly,

-Jorb (from the planet Moab)

---I will soon return with my observations of earth during this holiday time.

Diet Time

2011-12-16T15:31:00.000-08:00

I'm not even going to try and lie about this....I love the last day of school before Christmas break. It's just fun and in the school I teach at, the students and parents are really generous.
My students showered me with some pretty thoughtful and amazing gifts this year but throughout the day, only one seemed to really take the cake.

I waited until all of my students were gone to open the gifts they gave me and I saved the one I predicted would be best for last. I opened the wrapping paper and read the card which included a really sweet message from 2 of my twin students.

The more I unwrapped the more I could see that there was a book inside. I like books, I teach reading, so of course it fit!

The title read something to the effect of.....Dieting Fast!

Deep Breath.

Dieting? Really? Is that what kids are trying to tell me??? (I also received a luxury bar of soap that came in a gorgeous box, but again, what are kids trying to tell me?)

In the last 5 years I have never had a gift stand out quite like this one....it takes the cake for originality. It takes the cake for frustration and offense too.

Well....off to eat my dinner...consisting of water and grass. :)

So much for Holiday Cheer!

2011-12-12T19:13:00.000-08:00

Today I was in Trader Joes picking up some groceries. I love this store---not only do they carry great and healthy food, but everytime I'm in there I feel like I'm on vacation! The staff is incredible--always helpful!

Today I was passing by a sample counter and the worker kindly offered me a chili-cornbread casserole--it was fabulous. I quickly moved aside so that the lady behind me could sample and enjoy the free goodness as well.

As I was about to thank the worker who was serving it, the lady behind me said, "well that's terrible. yuck."

Really? Complaining about free food?

I looked at the worker and said, "wow, I thought that was really good-I appreciate it."

She said, " we serve almost 400 people a day on the weekends and you wouldn't believe how many people complain about free samples."

I was shocked to hear this. I see a sample cart in Costco or any other grocery and whether I like it or not---it's fun because it's free!

Tis the season.....for some :)

The Grinch

2011-12-11T16:17:00.001-08:00

I had an interseting week at school---life changing would be a better way to say it.
Not so much life changing for me......

My class of course brought up the topic of Christmas and presents...that seems to be the buzz with anyone under the age of 15. I was curious to be informed of the hot items this year that I most likely havent even heard of and the items that the kids will be getting that I wont. ha!

So I allowed for a deviation from the topic of poetry to allow them to indulge. I have found that kids wont concentrate anyways if they can't get something out of their system that they find important.

Long story short....one thing led to another and within moments the kids were talking about the time when they found out santa wasn't real. I then stopped and asked, "does anyone believe in Santa?" No child responded and let a few kids share their story---some were quite funny! Most of them involved the parents getting caught by the kids in some way, shape, or form.

I then arrived to school the next morning to have a not so kind e-mail from a parent. I ruined Christmas for her child as she did still believe in Santa until I blew it for her.

My boss was informed which then led to a conversation with her and so on.

This whole experience led me to think of an issue that comes to mind so often in teaching.

When you choose to send your children to public school, you are giving up your FULL influence. They will learn about sex and drugs on the bus, homosexuality at lunch, swear words in their classes, stealing at recesss and the list goes on. There is no longer a bubble around your child because the amount of students and teachers who have influence and exposure to them...it's unattainable. Is it bad? No, not always; public school can offer a great education it just might not all fall under your preference.

Who knew I would someday become a part of some child's story about how they found out Santa wasn't real. Am I proud of it? No. Am I convinced a middle schooler should still believe in Santa? Not exactly.

Genocide

2011-12-07T18:33:00.000-08:00

More than 6 million were killed in the Holocaust during the Nazi reign.
More than 7 million were killed in Ukraine during Joseph Stalin's famine.
More than 50 million babies have been murdered (aborted) since the 1970's in the U.S. alone.

All of these genocides are tragic.

It's unimaginable that we are watching and supporting genocide right in our own backyard.

Abortion is murder.
Why are we supporting genocide?

Great Advice

2011-12-05T16:30:00.000-08:00

I was talking with a wise woman that I sincerely trust about relationships. I was describing a few different relationships in my life right now, some going better than others, but that's just life I guess.

I was telling her about a few relationships that seem to just not be going right.....relationships where I question myself, things I may have said, and acceptance to be had on both sides of the relationship. I went on and on about how I don't really feel the need to have people "like" me, but more so just accept me as a person and move on with it.

Her advice was just what I needed to hear, "Stop trying to get people's acceptance of any kind. All you should consume yourself is God's acceptance...and he does."

So simple but so profound. Here I am, worrying about acceptance...when no ones acceptance matters other than the Lord's.

Amen.

I'll keep that in the front of my thinking---God first, people second. What matters to him matters to me.

Get my Craft On!

2011-12-04T10:37:00.000-08:00

One of the main reasons I dread the Christmas season is the whole pressure of gift giving. It's not the financial obligation....it's picking the right thing that a person will actually adore and something that may look like it cost more than it really does. I don't know why I worry so much about cost; I know when I receive anything, cost never even crosses my mind-I'm just thankful for it!

I've sorta copped out the last few years and chosen the NO-GIFTS policy for everyone in my life (other than my parents). I figured this would keep it fair---no person is "valued" as more than another. No sibling, friend, cousin, or grandparent would feel they were loved less because of what they received. Honestly....the last 3 Christmas experiences have been bliss---no gifts---just time with family and friends. I can't begin to tell you how powerful it has been for my family....we just simply don't bother. We all know we are getting together to spend time together! (I'm not gonna lie---getting gifts is seriously one of the funnest things about the season and I DO love getting things from people---it's so fun---but it's not the focus and that I appreciate.)

This year, I have a little time to CRAFT my gifts. I'm not really the crafty type but I love the attempt, I love the process and I have loved going down the list of important people I want to honor with "something." Yes, it will be small and yes it will be economical but people will know they are loved :)

Jesus is the season....period.
Gifts are fun.
Family and friends are to be cherished.

bring on the crafting!!!!

Tis the Season

2011-11-27T12:35:00.001-08:00

Some people buy their trees in a box, some people cut down their trees from the wilderness, and some people (like us) just go to the local Food Lion grocery and pick from the parking lot!

Some people load up the truck with the christmas music on, cocoa in hand, and heater one. Some people (like us) cram it in the trunk of the Buick with the air conditioner on, and drive a block home.

Some people love the smell of fresh pine, the drama of choosing the best tree, and feeling of wilderness right in your living room! Some people (like me) don't understand why we keep buying real trees that cost money every year, but smile anyways because it makes someone else very happy :)

All people love a great tree to kick off this precious time of year-- our Savior's birth!!!!!

It's the Best

2011-11-22T20:31:00.000-08:00

I absolutely LOVE Thanksgiving! It's really the only holiday that feels stress free. No one really argues over who is celebrating or for what religion. I love that Thanksgiving has nothing to do with buying anything for anyone....except food of course. You never hear people misunderstanding this holiday---it's just easy.

God calls us to be thankful in the trials and tribulations. He calls us to be thankful for EVERYTHING because it's all a part of his plan. Trusting in that brings such peace...and an abundance of thankfulness!

Of course I'm thankful for my family, friends, job and such...but this year the trials are finally bearing fruit. I can see the purpose and I'm so thankful for ALL this year has brought.

Thank you Lord- for it all!

The Empty House

2011-11-20T15:47:00.000-08:00

I've debated for a week now of how to share an update on fostering. Part of me debates sharing truth because people some how find a way to judge and discourage when people choose what's best for their family (even though the people judging would never attempt to do it themselves). Part of me is proud to share our last month with Brianna because overall it was a unique experience that most people don't get.

So....I guess I'll share both :) So many of you have been calling and checking on us, sending prayers and support our way. We are SO thankful!

When we originally felt called to foster care we didn't really know in what capacity and we really had no idea what we were signing on for. I don't think anyone does really, until you experience it first hand. Fostering has turned out to be the greatest challenge I've had in my adult life. John and I are fond of the experience we had because it was truly enlightening and incredibly powerful.

What it really came down to was simple- we are just not ready to parent teenagers. We tried to force it and make it work but when it came down to it at the end of the day, we just aren't there yet. We found ourselves compromising in areas that we feel we need to perform in, areas like teaching, coaching, and John being a student himself. We found ourselves constantly frustrated because teenagers need more wise parenting than we have to offer. This season in our life just didn't fit for long term care. It's something we never would have known unless we tried it-and we are so glad that we did. Fostering has humbled us and the confidence we once had in working with kids, quickly diminished as we attempted to be parents.

On a nightly basis we questioned ourselves, the decision to keep her or give her up and it was the most emotionally draining decision we've had to make. We can look at the experience as a complete failure, and in some senses it was, but really the fruit from the experience is priceless. It opened our eyes to what some of our students' parents experience. I can now empathize with a parent in a way that I never could before. We learned how much we appreciate this sweet season of being newlyweds. While we had a child in our home, our relationship was literally non-existant. Foster children cannot be left alone with anyone, so we had to be with her ALL the time. We also learned that later in life we will come back to this. Once we get a little experience with our own kids, we have no doubt that we will re-visit fostering!

So there it is.....to the non-supporters in the world-yes, you can say that we failed. To the ones who know our hearts-yes we failed, but only in some sense of it. The revelation from the situation was priceless.

From this point on.....we will be taking kids for temporary foster care into our home. Kids who are between homes or kids who need babysat so that their foster parents can get a break. We can see the fruit of the fostering class and the relationships we built with other families in the class. We have so much to be thankful for through this failure. And we are!

He waited...for me :)

2011-11-13T15:31:00.001-08:00

Living in North Carolina has given me the title of "furthest grandchild." Last weekend all of the cousins were in Ohio to visit my grandpa as we knew the time had arrived for his final days on earth. I being so far away, was hestitant to make the trip twice due to finances and time off work. Thanks to my cousin Kelly and husband, they convinced me it was money well spent and off we were to make the visit.

Grandpa held on, fairly unresponsive until I got there. He then went to heaven about 24 hours after I got to Ohio and it was truly the most awkward and beautiful experience I have ever had.

My cousin Kelly, John, my grandma, and myself were the only ones in the room when grandpa passed. It was calm, it was scary, and yet, feeling the holy spirit take his soul to heaven was indescribable. I felt a moment of desperation when I saw him slipping away and wanted to shake his chest screaming "keep breathing!" But, the holy spirit brought a peace to the room and we knew in our hearts the Lord was pulling him back to himself, in heaven.

The funeral will be beautiful. Sixty years of marriage. Raised 5 christian children. Enjoyed 18 grandchildren and 8 greatgrand children. He served his family and provided by working the land. He was truly....a good and faithful servant.

David Merkle-you are already missed.

She's his Rock

2011-11-11T17:57:00.001-08:00

I'm sitting in a hospice room, praise music on the I-pod that my cousin brought, and waiting. It's such an odd thing.....waiting for someone to die. Thankfully, this experience has been positive; the nurses here are angelic, the facility is quiet, a personal chef bakes and cooks upon request, and most importantly, my grandma feels he is comfortable.

Several people from their small home town have popped in during the short time we have been here. It makes me truly miss the home town feel-everyone knowing and supporting everyone-it really is powerful! As I watched friend after friend come in to support my grandparents, I was enamored by my grandma. She is simply bliss.

I feel like a sponge that is soaking up all of this "life stuff" in the past month. From fostering and coaching, to losing a loved one. There are just these seasons of life when God's holy spirit reveals and plants wisdom in our hearts. Today has been one of those days, a day of revelation from the holy spirit.

Watching my grandmother, God allowed me to see to my future. Not the kind of crystal ball revelation, but a glimpse of what being a Godly woman is....in the future sense. I watched this 80 year old woman welcome and hug everyone, she helped the older gentlemen put on their coats, she spoke so kindly to every person she encountered even through the sorrow she feels. She set the pain of losing her husband aside to ask how others are doing, compliment the nurses, and serve people while they were here. That spoke volumes in itself.

Call after call, visitor after visitor, people came because of who she is. She has been such an amazing woman of God, endlessly loving and supporting everyone she meets. I want to be that. The holy spirit just spoke in my heart as I observed her grace, "Kylie, what you do now, and how you love and serve others, will last until your final day." I have thought of this logically before, knowing the relationships I form now will impact me even in my older age, but she was a walking testament.

I need to serve my friends at every chance I have.
I need to pour into others lives before I ask for them to pour into me.

I pray through my hardships, that God will give me the strength to continue serving and loving his people. I pray selfishness does not consume my heart.

Grandma...you have taught us well!

Saying Goodbye

2011-11-10T16:49:00.000-08:00

Tonight John and I are preparing to drive to Ohio in hopes of a bitter-sweet goodbye with my grandpa. We have known for about a week and a half that time is up, and today was the final call that it's almost to an end.

I have such mixed emotions. I'm proud to say that I am the oldest grandaughter on both sides of my family. On the Merkle side, I love being the oldest girl because the family is overwhelmed with boys. It's a special place and I love the idea that I have accountability to the younger female cousins. It's truly an honor.

I know my grandpa as one of bad jokes, a sweet spirit, and a heart full of love for the Lord. His consistant love and faithfulness to his walk blows me away. I can remember being little and always seeing him at the kitchen table reading his bible. I can remember my senior year in high school when he started building me a wood cabinet and was still working on it this summer when I visited.

Grandpa was a great grandpa and an awesome husband. Part of his success is my grandma, the one he still holds hands with, the one he calls "Barbie" after Barbara.

I've learned from their epic marriage, their steadfast walk with the Lord, and his ability to lead his 5 children and 20+ grandchildren.

Grandpa, you will be missed, but we rest assured knowing that meeting our God, is a much greater moment than anything here!

Your trash is my treasure

2011-11-08T18:10:00.001-08:00

We have been working non-stop with Brianna on 2 issues: lieing and manipulation.
Tonight I came home from work and noticed the pillow case (halloween bag) of candy was missing from on top of the fridge.

Of course I didn't take it and neither did John....that left one little sneaky hand!

So before bed tonight, John said, "can I have a Snickers from your candy bag?"

She immediately got the big eyes look and said......"ummmmmm."

She knew she was caught.

So---I asked her to go get it out of her room (which I had already searched in and out while she was in the shower and couldn't find it)and she brought down the bag. I then asked her, "Because you have shown us that you cannot follow the rules with the candy...what do you think I'm going to tell you we should do with it?"

She then said that she thought I wanted her to throw it all away.

TRUE.

So she did.

We then gave her the talk of integrity and honesty....again....and she then went to bed.

About 30 seconds after her bedroom door closes, my cutie pie husband rushes to the trash can and digs out the candy to enjoy for himself.

If she only knew.... :)

Bethany Farms

2011-11-08T15:41:00.000-08:00

A dear friend of mine and her adorable family, followed God's call to start up a farm. They sold their business, their home, and cars just to answer the calling they feel the Lord has led them to fulfill.

This weekend they will be hosting their first open house. They are selling home goods and also CHICKEN! Home grown--completely organic right off their farm-chickens. I have tasted the goodness and I will say, it is good!

If you want the real meat.....stop by the farm and getcha some...or Ill pick some up for you! Eating the best God has to offer...untampered...is tasty!

http://www.bethanyfarmnc.blogspot.com

Your Church

2011-11-07T16:24:00.000-08:00

A co-worker of mine was sharing with me the sermon that she heard this Sunday at church. I eagerly listened but after she was done, I was amazed. She kept mentioning what the pastor had come up with....this new idea that he had put together...all of the catchy lines...and she said the word "Jesus" once in her whole synopsis of the service. Once.

The prosperity churches that are flooding this country scare me more than a christian who has no church. Prosperity preaching is teaching of the bible in a way that prospers man, focuses on how WE can be better people. The bible wasn't designed to make man better, it was designed to glorify God. Prosperity preachers use the bible to support to the "US" message they are hoping to get across.

When John and I started looking for a church in Charlotte we decided on 3 things that we determined were a must have in our church......

1. Expository preaching (sermon studies and themes can only last so long...preaching verse by verse in the bible allows what God wrote to be the message, not what man wants to create and speak on)
2. Holyness and Humility (we yearned for a humble congregation and shepherd....one that holds God to the highest esteem)
3. Biblical Accountability (John and I sought out counseling and mentors when we first started at our church....we cannot make wise decisions without experienced believers helping to guide us through our walk)

It took us multiple churches to find the 3 things that God put on our hearts as must have's for our church. We know that the wait has been worth it! We fail so miserably in our lives on an hourly basis, that we needed a church that has the meat...meat from the bible not from man. We knew that the only way we would grow is with the help of wise and humble men of God.

I get the whole idea.....prosper us, make us better christians...etc.
The bible doesn't preach "prosper" for salvation....

repent, believe, obey.
repent, believe, obey.
repent, believe, obey.

Does your church preach Jesus, or does your church preach about you?

Broken World

2011-11-06T11:19:00.000-08:00

The older I get, the more the holy spirit reveals the hurt of this broken world we live in.
Everyone, and I mean everyone, hurts whether they are saved or not saved. For those who are saved, we have the hope that our savior has created a perfect eternity. We live on this earth for the purpose of Jesus Christ and eternity with him.
As John and I figure out our place and purpose in this fostering journey, we have been exposed to the darkest sin in our world. Child rape, physical abuse, neglect, starvation, child pornography, etc. all of which involve innocent children. It's sick.
Although this seems like the ultimate hurt in the world, to others who suffer different pain, it is no differet. No each his own. Somtimes I have a problem with saying in my head, "well, it's not as bad as what ___ is experiencing" which is a cop out on my part. It's me not wanting to empathize with others because I feel they aren't justified in their hurt.
This week, a co-worker of mine from years ago, contacted me about hurt that her family is experiencing. Her dad was accused of a criminal charge that he did not committ and is facing a 15 year sentence. My heart broke for this family as I understand the pain they are encountering.
Another friend, one from high school, called John and I explaining how his wife has left him and their 3 young children to chase fame in Hollywood. My heart shattered for this family....
I so anticipate the day we face our savior and see justice, love, and holiness. All the hurt of this world will be gone and the hope we had on earth for Jesus will be reality. I am so thankful for a perfect savior, one who died so that my hurt can be his hurt.

This world is broken and there is only one hope. Jesus.

Lessons in Fostering

2011-11-03T18:28:00.001-07:00

I'm going to keep this simple because I don't think my tolerance/patience/energy will allow for long sentences at the moment.

1. Being a parent is the hardest job i've ever had
2. Having the school call you about your kid is incredibly embarassing
3. Now I know why my parents spanked us
4. Discipline = good kids
5. God gives me more grace than I deserve.....and I need a lot of grace at the moment

Praying myself through the weekend :)

Skype What?

2011-11-02T18:28:00.000-07:00

I know, I'm behind the times. I remember years ago when people started talking about this so called "skype" business. I can remember my dad skyping and thinking...."that's so lame."

Hello! Why didn't someone tell me how great this is?????

This past weekend my grandpa was walking a fine line in the hospital and the doctors called the family members to come for a final visit. I couldn't make a flight home for a visit and pay for a flight for a funeral. So, thankfully, my cousin told me to jump online and skype so that I could see him and say goodbye. What an event!!! I was passed around to all the cousins and family members that I never get to see (definitely a down side to living down here and having everyone we love up there).

Mom of course was incredibly amused, as was I. She and I had at the skype thing last night.....what a hoot!

I think this just opened a whole new world. I think facebook is the "old" techy me...skype is my new techy thing.

Who wants to skype????

Speaking Truth

2011-10-27T18:35:00.000-07:00

For a few more weeks we will have a child in our home until a final placement for her is made. Our main struggle at the moment is honesty. She consistantly feels the need to tell a lie, whether it be about her dirty laundry or her homework.

One of the things I'm learning through this process is how amazing and patient my Godly husband really is. I would like to get through the honesty discussions much quicker and move right into the consequences. John on the other hand is all about breaking it down, and he is the one who brings her to tears with truth. I talk and don't have quite the impact but when John speaks, her heart breaks. He just has a way of getting through to her where as I struggle because of my impatience.
We have yet to raise our voices, we have yet to lose our cool. I'm doing okay---I just want the process to be quicker and less frequent...not so much at the moment.

She really does have a sweet heart and I really do have a little amount of grace after spending all day with 90 other kids. I have to pray that the Lord will give me a heart full of grace for the lies and the sweetness.

Eyes wide open

2011-10-23T18:20:00.000-07:00

This weekend was our first real experience as foster parents---we had a live one! :)

Brianna was such a treat---totally sweet girl---soooo much potential (she is so smart)--and really an outgoing and fun personality. All in all, we had a pretty easy kid to have a trial run on.

When we agreed to take Brianna, it was a very open ended placement. With this, we and the agency agreed that because it was so last minute, that we should take the weekend with her and get a feeling if the situation would work or not. The idea was to then re-group on Monday and figure out where to go from here.

The weekend was nothing like I expected. To say the least, it was the most eye opening weekend I think I have ever experienced. Not because of the child, because of me.

John and I have no kids, pets, family in the area...nothing. It's just been he and I for 4 years now. Adding an addition into our home was a challenge for me personally. I really felt extremely unsettled the entire weekend, feeling like we had gotten in way over our heads way too fast. We went from us.....to being parents of a teenager. I now have the greatest respect for any parent and this experience gave me a whole new level of compassion for my students parents at work.

After much debate and prayer (from ourselves and faithful friends/family) we have come to the conclusion that we will start with respit care and see where the Lord leads us from there. Respit care is on-call care for kids who are between homes and need a place to stay for 2-3 days. This will give us the opportunity to take things at a slower pace, learn as we go, and still contribute to fostering at a level that we feel capable of.

The decision was so hard to make. John is more confident in our abilities than I am.....I just don't feel ready. It's an indescribable lack of peace that I can't explain and until you experience the situation---I just can't explain it.

We are so grateful that God has given us the opportunity to foster---no matter what the capacity. We definitely want to pour into these kids whether its for a weekend, or a month. They really are such cool kids with SO much personality :)

Here's to a new perspective......

For real this time

2011-10-21T14:45:00.000-07:00

In about 15 minutes, Brianna, whom is 12, will be dropped at my doorstep and forever change my life. John and I got a call about 24 hours ago asking if we would take her into our home. To say the least.....I am absolutely questioning the whole thing. When it comes down to the day and the hour...nerves set in, and doubt consumes. I just keep thinking.....there is an out if it doesn't work.

The feeling of everything changing in life is so scary.....

God picked her and us and what happens in the relationship will be for his glory. I have no doubt that he will be with us every step of the way.

All I know so far, is that she's a picky eater......i hope that means she likes french fries and donuts like I do!!! wooooo hooo!!!

Here's to the best.....and not completely failing this calling :)

Borrowing Words

2011-10-18T18:49:00.000-07:00

A friend of mine posted a link to her friends blog and once I started reading I couldn't stop. From what I gather, her 7 year old daughter has terminal tumors and today she wrote this on her blog,

"I think yesterday ranks as the hardest day of my life. September 11th, 2009, diagnosis day, was a day of shock, but yesterday was just plain hard. Witnessing her in pain is too much to bear.

As we were traveling down the road at 4 am, my sweet man at the wheel, I was reminded of another middle-of-the-night trip to the hospital. January 30th, 2004 ~ Willie driving and me having labor pains, knowing that soon our precious God-gift, wrapped in the flesh of a baby girl, would be ushered into this world...into our arms. Yesterday morning ~Willie at the wheel, me hovering over her ~ me, with pains of my heart and her, with pains in her precious head, wondering if we would soon be giving her back to Him...into His arms. I hovered over her, kissing her head and whisper-praying to our Father, "Lord, please take away her pain. Take her if you want. She's yours anyway, but thank you for letting us have her for a little bit. You can take so much better care of her than I can." Don't get me wrong, I love her with ever fiber of my being, but trying to make her stay on this broken earth just doesn't seem right. Not when we know she wants to go Home. She's expressed to us in many sweet, precious ways that she longs to be in heaven. To be free from these tumors. To be free from this painful world."

My heart broke and my perspective of life once again quickly changed. I believe God brings me right back to HIS reality as soon as I start to become consumed with MINE.

Oh the strength of this mother and the beautiful picture she has painted. My heart just breaks for her but rejoices in the truth she knows.

Check her out....it's worth your time!
http://byrdhouse-byrdsnest.blogspot.com

Blessed Beyond...

2011-10-17T16:57:00.000-07:00

It's been one of those school years....it's been one of those falls. John and I have been feeling a little weight on our shoulders....nothing monumental, nothing in comparison to what others are challenged with, but enough to discourage a significant amount.

I was randomly sharing with my dearest and absolutely closest friend. She is the optomistic one of the two of us, she finds the bright side to EVERY situation. She challenges me often just by her own attitude!

Tonight I came home from another 3 hour softball game and LONG day at work. John handed me the mail and I proceeded to open a card from her address. On the inside she wrote that we needed to get out for a night and enjoy ourselves, and if we couldn't to pass the "tickets" on to someone else. WHAT? Tickets???

Because she is always listening....she heard me tell her that we love David Crowder Band and she bought us tickets. (David Crowder is a sweet Christian band that is no longer going on tour after this fall)

I know it was money they didn't need to spend but they sacrificed to invest in John and I's marriage. What a friend.....looking to encourage us in a "downer" kind of season in life. I can't wait to pass on the blessing!! So fuN!

Thank you Ashley and Jake--we love you!!! You just made "everything glorious"

Too soon to say!

2011-10-11T19:15:00.000-07:00

Change in Plan...again.

We found out today that the girl we were potentially getting for foster care, has been placed in residential treatment. We will not be getting her. So, back to square one it is.

For the time being, we will wait and pray. We have a strong peace that God has the right child in mind for us. Nothing about this process has been easy but we are extremely hopeful. We are confident that God is guiding and directing our steps and we are honored to have such a unique calling.

Here's to waiting :)

Size Matters

2011-10-10T17:36:00.000-07:00

John and I, who feel we are now professional campers (who in actuality have done it twice together) decided to take some friends camping, who have never experienced the wonder and beauty of it all (kind of).

My good friend Lisa and I had a blast planning out the details of this momentous occasion. We did all of our internet research to find the greatest hot spot for camping here in Charlotte (if there is such a thing). We finally decided on the best campground (price determined of course). Our total fee for our campsite----12.00!!! Now that's an affordable night of fun!

So off we go, skipping and frollicking through the woods to our campsite on a sunny Saturday afternoon. Our coolers packed, wood logs chopped, and all smores supplies handy.

The gentlemen begin to set up camp, using the coolest tent that we borrowed from a friend. This is the mac daddy of all tents with two bedrooms connected to a middle screened in section. It's huge! Every campers dream!!

Once the middle section was set up, the mountain men realized it was too big for our campsite (that's what 12.00 will get you now days). So, the men then proceed to tear down the tent and put up the 2 back up tents that we own.

And at last, our tents are up and glory is to be had.

We enjoy the fire

We share in many laughs

and then get ready for a great nights sleep.

We decided to have our guests sleep in the nicer tent and we took the blue one. The tent that is 4x4ft. Yes thats right---the tent is not even large enough for me to stretch my legs straight or both of us to sleep on our backs at the same time.

After spending most of the night not sleeping---morning finally came and the nightmare of that tent ended.

Camping---I once again realize why I like most if---except the actual camping part. So next time, its a bonfire in the backyard and my own bed to follow. Tents are for the birds.

Colored Pink?

2011-10-09T16:22:00.000-07:00

After a long and thoughtful meeting with our supervisor at Thompson, we have all decided it is best for our family to embark on the fostering journey with a new foster child. Michael is the coolest kid and he deserves the best parents, but he will not be able to leave treatment for several more months. With that, John and I are ready to get this show on the road.
Our supervisor mentioned a girl, she's 10 and will be needing a home within the next month or two. We will receive more information with details this week.

So......(deep sigh) here we go again! Changing from the idea of blue, to pink! This might just be fun!!!!

Thank you for more

2011-10-05T18:56:00.000-07:00

A few things I often forget that I'm thankful for......

-my job
-health
-our humble little house
-2 parents healthy and living
-warm weather in October :)
-food to pack in my lunch
-WEEKENDS
-sweet friends that are irreplacable

.....oh the list goes on.

No matter how gloomy the day, I can go back to the basics and it's always more than enough to be thankful for!

One Man

2011-10-04T19:31:00.001-07:00

I've always hated watching the news...it's depressing. Flat out depressing! Once in a while they do a segment on something uplifting, like the weather (which is usually wrong) or the recent updates in high school sports. Other than that.....it's just sad.

John brought to my attention something in the news that is just ripping at me (he is always reading the news or listening to talk radio). Currently in Iran, a Christian pastor is up for the death sentence because of the fact that he is Christian. I realize this happens on a regular basis in other countries, but this story is getting a lot of attention in the U.S.

The Iranian government is charging the man with rape---this happens often when Iranian people denounce the Muslim faith and convert to Christianity.

I have personally experienced in my own family, "justice" according to a government's discretion. I understand the feeling of utter helplessness and lack of control in terms of someones freedom. It's indescribable and to think his family will watch him murdered, and then suffer the humiliation and harassment after shatters my heart.

I can only pray that God would give me the boldness that he has given this man. I pray that if death were my only option to remain faithful to what I believe in, that I could.

I am yet again reminded how blessed we are in this FREE country. I'm also reminded that if our government starts to wittle away at our freedoms....we too will face death in terms of religious freedom.

Weak

2011-10-04T17:03:00.000-07:00

About a month ago, John and I dropped Netflix to strike the double price increase. Boy did it work----Netflix went bankrupt and the world stopped.

Not so much.

After 3 Sundays of non-stop football---I finally caved and begged to get it back. With no cable in the house, I was dieing for a break from quarterbacks and fumbles.

Netflix is back up and running---streaming only which is the same price we had before....8.00 a month I can live with :)

Always Changing

2011-10-03T18:34:00.000-07:00

Progress in foster care feels to be consistently changing. It's a challenge to be patient because some of the kids cannot exit treatment facilities until they are well enough to leave.

Michael has had a few setbacks in treatment and with that---the timeline has been pushed out. We will be meeting this week to determine if we will continue this path with Michael or with a child that we would get much sooner.

Our hearts are so torn----we are desperately wanting to get started with having an actual child in our home. John and I started the process last January--and here it's October and we are still waiting. On the other hand, we don't want to completely abandon Michael as we have spent time with him over the past few months.

There is just no easy answer......and the process is far from simple.

Updates to come!

Whirlwinds

2011-09-28T17:53:00.000-07:00

Fall is my favorite season of the year.....I just cannot get enough of pumpkin flavored anything...I love the change in weather....and I adore the decor!

As for the rest of fall....it's always a chaotic mess. With teaching, coaching, part time work, fostering, and church....I feel like treading water is an understatement.

The good news is that this season will come to an end in November and life will significantly slow down! YAY! In the meantime, I'm trying to laugh away the exhaustion and hearing this from one of my students, brought just the chuckle I needed to start my day.

..............

I was reading an article to my class on the new Martin Luther King monument built in D.C. There was a two page spread including a several pictures of MLK. In the article, it stated that a chinese designer created it.

I then said, "isn't it interesting that our economy is struggling, Obama has promised jobs, and yet we have foreign designers creating our monument for an American hero. Hmmmmm.

I then asked, "does anyone else think this is strange?"
One student responds, "not really, maybe he is part chinese."
I said, "Ummmm...no....he's not"
The student then strongly responds, "he could be."

Maybe looks don't say it all! :)

Inspirations

2011-09-18T16:45:00.000-07:00

I've noticed a trend.

I try to make myself aware of who I admire. I sincerely consider why I admire certain people and specifically what it is I admire. I've noticed a trend with the people I admire; the qualities in them that inspire me are the qualities that I don't have.

Take for example my mother. My mom is a woman who defines perserverence. She is one of the strongest women I know. I try to imagine myself in her shoes, living the situation she has faced and continues to fight through and all I can see myself doing is climbing in bed and hiding---waiting for it to end. Not her, she takes it on and then adds more to her plate to help other people.

My friend Gina....she is the most amazing cook. I try to dabble in the kitchen but nothing compares. She can make a fabulous meal, mouthwatering and warm....simply with ingredients she has in her kitchen. She has the quality of instincts in the kitchen, me...not so much.

My dearest friend Ashley is always optomistic. She is constantly looking on the bright side which often makes me want to puke, but I want to puke because I'm really just jealous that I'm cynical when she's the opposite. I love that she is always giving people the benefit of the doubt where as I tend to over analyze.

My friend Ginny...she has the greatest sweetness about her. She literally drips honey...always kind and always personable. It amazes me that she is always just that nice.

The list goes on....Kelly is driven. She's a go-getter always making things happen. She keeps going when I would have given up! She is one tough girl---i love it!

On and On and On....

I see these admirable qualities in the women around me that I so desire to have myself. It's not that I think I don't have good qualities....it's just that I always seem to lack in these qualities when I'm busy noticing other peoples.

I'm so thankful for so many women in my life to inspire me. They all have such unique qualities that I have yet to acquire. God has shown me areas to work on....and I see them in the people he surrounds me with.

Grateful!

Grass is greener

2011-09-15T16:41:00.000-07:00

I'm 27. All of my married friends are pregnant, with a newborn, or trying for one.

It's so confusing when you always want something else. Doesn't it always look like someone elses life is more exciting, better, or even simpler?

On a daily basis I think to myself, "I better hurry up and get pregnant or I'll be friendless. All of my friends are having babies and I'll be left with nothing and no one."

Then, always after being around someone elses kids, I think to myself, "I'm so thankful for freedom, sleep, selfish fun, flexibility, and time with John. I am so not ready for a baby."

Back and forth the cycle goes. It's not just the timing of having kids. It's jobs, friendships, families, churches, etc. Someone elses something just always looks like it might be a little better.

One bible verse always comes to mind, "I know the plans I have for you."

Deep Sigh.

If I'm supposed to be at another church, another job, having a baby, not having a foster child coming, different friends....it would be. God is in such control of my life that if he wanted these things to happen- they would. When I think of his greatness, abilities, and power, I'm reminded that I'm not really choosing much. God allows me to make the choices he has already picked for me.

Who am I to think the God of the universe is not in control?
Who am I to think that this life is about anything other than bringing him glory?

The rest are details and different shades of green grass.

We Remember

2011-09-11T17:56:00.000-07:00

All day today, John and I have been listening to the radio and watching specials for the anniversary of 9-11. I think I've cried more today listening to peoples stories than I ever have about the tragedy our country faced.

I remember exactly where I was when the planes hit, Mr. Bartel's human bio class in high school, and when it happened I remember that I didn't understand anything about it. Nothing clicked for me then, I just didn't understand terrorist or intentional tragedies.

Now, 10 years later, I am fully grasping the depths of this tragic event and the magnitude it has on families, our freedom, and our service men still fighting over seas. I think of the people on the planes and the fear they felt before they crashed. I think of the people who jumped from the buildings because jumping seemed a better option than burning alive.

Our country is still good. Our God is still SO good. Human beings, thanks to God, can do good. Human beings, because of satan, committ evil acts.

My heart feels such peace knowing that our God is just and he fights for us on judgement day. All the wrong doings will be accounted for, mine included. Those responsible will be held accountable for before the God of the universe.

Foster "things"

2011-09-07T17:57:00.001-07:00

Tomorrow is Michael's birthday and tonight we went for a visit with a pizza and monopoly (i still dont like that game).

Part way through the game we start laughing and joking around about something and mid sentence Michael says, "you have a mustache."

Ok--this was no where near the topic of conversation we were having. I was immediately embarassed and thinking, are you serious??? I just took care of that!

Kids say the darndest things....unfortunately.

Colorado Wedding Bells

2011-09-05T17:07:00.000-07:00

One of John's best buds married his bride this weekend in the Colorado mountains....it was awesome!!! The best part of the weekend was seeing God's art work first hand--what a sight he creates for us to enjoy. It was eye candy everwhere you looked...sunsets to mountains to trees. Just divine!

Congrats Brie and Josh....and so the journey of marriage begins! Let God always remain above you. We love you!!

Help!

2011-08-25T18:09:00.000-07:00

First day of school in bullet form:

-One child cried when he met me. Then he cried repeatedly whenever I walked past his desk. (hmmmm)
-One child had his seat moved in the first 10 minutes because he couldn't stop chatting with his neighbor..."I like talking, i know its annoying but I just do" (great)
-I wrote down one students schedule in order and numbered it. He then repeatedly asked me what class he was going to next. (hint of things to come)
-I asked the principal to track down a "missing child" who was actually sitting in my class all along. (does he not know his name?)

Other than that......

I have a job in a great school. I have an awesome husband whom I adore. The ants in my kitchen are slowly being exiled by our bug man. And, God has been answering prayers left and right for people we love.

BLESSED :)

The Cross

2011-08-24T16:29:00.000-07:00

My heart was breaking as I listened to a close friend as she shared with me the struggles in her marriage. Her husband crossed the line of faithfulness and everything has changed.

My first reaction was pure disgust. I was ready to pack his bags for him so that she could feel safe and loved.

To her wiser judgement, she has a marriage to fight for.

As we finished our conversation my mind lingered to the idea of forgiveness. God sees my sin as disgusting as I see her husbands sin. It's hurtful and damaging. She is choosing to forgive him and move forward. Wow---her strength blows me away.

I keep thinking about how God forgives me constantly and is always eager to move forward. My sin is no different than my friend's husband...sin is sin and it always disapoints and infects someone or something.

Thank you Lord for forgiveness. For mine. For his. For all of ours.

The cross saves us all....

Who's your attorney?

2011-08-21T13:46:00.000-07:00

After living what I felt was a 'decent'
life, my time on earth came to the end.

The first thing I remember is sitting
on a bench in the waiting room of what
I thought to be a court house.

The doors opened and I was instructed
to come in and have a seat by the
defense table.
As I looked around I saw the
'prosecutor.'

> He was a villainous looking gent who
> snarled as he stared at me. He
> definitely was the most evil person I have ever
> seen.
>
> I sat down and looked to my left and
> there sat My Attorney, kind and gentle
> looking man whose appearance seemed so familiar
> to me, I felt I knew Him.
>
> The corner door flew open and there
> appeared the Judge in full flowing
> robes.
>
> He commanded an awesome presence as He
> moved across the room I couldn't take
> my eyes off of Him.
>
> As He took His seat behind the bench,
> He said, 'Let us begin.'
>
> The prosecutor rose and said, 'My name
> is Satan and I am here to show you why this
> man belongs in hell.'
>
> He proceeded to tell of lies that I
> told, things that I stole, and In the
> past when I cheated others. Satan told
> of other horrible perversions that were
> once in my life and the more he spoke, the
> further down in my seat I sank.
>
> I was so embarrassed that I couldn't
> look at anyone, even my own Attorney,
> as the Devil told of sins that even I
> had completely forgotten about.
>
> As upset as I was at Satan for telling
> all these things about me, I was
> equally upset at My Attorney who sat there
> silently not offering any form of defense at
> all.
>
> I know I had been guilty of those
> things, but I had done some good in my life -
> couldn't that at least equal out part of the
> harm I'd done?
>
> Satan finished with a fury and said,
> 'This man belongs in hell, he is guilty
> of all that I have charged and there is
> not a person who can prove otherwise.'
>
> When it was His turn, My Attorney first
> asked if He might approach the bench. The Judge
> allowed this over the strong objection of Satan,
> and beckoned Him to come forward.
>
> As He got up and started walking,
> I was able to see Him in His full splendor
> and majesty.
>
> I realized why He seemed so familiar;
> this was Jesus representing me, my Lord
> and my Savior.
>
> He stopped at the bench and softly said
> to the Judge, 'HI, DAD,' and then He
> turned to address the court.
>
> 'Satan was correct in saying that this
> man had sinned, I won't deny any of these
> allegations. And, yes, the wage of sin is death,
> and this man deserves to be
> punished.'
>
> Jesus took a deep breath and turned to
> His Father with outstretched arms and
> proclaimed, 'However, I died on the cross so
> that this person might have eternal life and he
has accepted Me as his Savior, so he is Mine.'

My Lord continued with, 'His name is
written in the Book of Life, and no one can
snatch him from Me.
'Satan still does not understand yet.
This man is not to be given justice,
but rather mercy.'

As Jesus sat down, He quietly paused,
looked at His Father and said, 'There
is nothing else that needs to be done.
I've done it all..'

The Judge lifted His mighty hand and
slammed the gavel down. The following
words bellowed from His lips.....

'This man is free. The penalty for him
has already been paid in full. Case
dismissed.'

As my Lord led me away, I could hear
Satan ranting and raving, 'I won't give
up, I will win the next one.'
I asked Jesus as He gave me my
instructions where to go next, 'Have you ever
lost a case?'

Christ lovingly smiled and said,
'Everyone that has come to Me and asked Me
to represent them has received the same verdict
as you, ~Paid In Full.'

Small Jab

2011-08-19T15:57:00.000-07:00

Have you ever had someone (wait....why am I starting with a question when I know everyone has)......

So today was my first day back to work and for the most part it was great. My room is coming along (mainly thanks to my awesome husband who stapled and covered my entire back wall in black paper. LOVE. THAT. MAN), meetings were under way, and work began!

We had a staff meeting this morning and we were all pretty pumped to see eachother after being apart for the summer. One teacher that I am particularly close to asked how my summer was. I was pretty excited to share with her the updates on our soon coming foster child and also filled her in on our summer travels.

(this is the part where I share something that has happened to most people, so there is really no need to ask if it has happened to you)

Her immediate reaction to me saying, "We are getting our foster child in December" was her shaking her head and saying "no." I'm not really sure what that meant but I walked away before I could let myself feel upset.

I'm sure we have all been there both in saying these things and hearing these things....discouraging someone from doing something they either feel called to do or something good they want to do for humanity.

I was deflated. I realized immediately that she would no longer have say in my life or influence; I wont be sharing with her anymore. It's scary enough as it is...stepping out into something we have no experience with, to let someone else bring us down in the process.

The small jabs seem to always hurt the most.
(strange....the bigger arguments just don't "sting" like the small, underlying, and intentional comments)

Calling All Saints

2011-08-18T15:35:00.000-07:00

While getting set to perform, the band Sugarland's stage collapsed due to weather, killing 5 and injuring several.

A friend of mine's sister is one of the injured. So much so that she has been in a coma for 5 days now, yet to awake.

It's amazing though how God's people pull together. It's amazing the amount of times that the Lord is hearing "andrea" whispered in his ear from all those who are lifting her up. Thanks to the communication of facebook, people around the world are literally praying for her to pull through. Awesome.

In light of the events and the tragedy Andrea's family is experiencing, can you please pray for her? Her life still hangs in the balance. She has a husband and a young daughter.

I am confident that God's angels are surrounding her in that ICU. I am certain that God IS using this challenge to glorify the miracle he is going to do for her life.

I love watching God blow people away....and it's about to happen!

Look Around

2011-08-15T17:18:00.000-07:00

I watched the news tonight in full (which I always regret) and the same thing kept coming to mind.....

Whenever you doubt how blessed you are, just look around.

From bombings in Iraq, to hunger in Africa, to shootings, homefires, freak accidents, and every other challenge that others are facing around the world, we are blessed.

Rest in that today...look around.

observations

2011-08-14T14:21:00.000-07:00

I've been making a simple observation over the past 6 months and I feel compelled to share a little bit of somewhat useless information.

John and I somehow got on the topic of bathrooms when he shared with me a life changing statistic:

the first stall in public restrooms are cleaner than the others.

So---for the past 6 months I've been testing the statistic and it's amazing how true that is. Think about your natural reaction when you walk into a public restroom. Most likely, you walk 2-3 stalls down and start seeking out the cleanest toilet.

Seek no longer. Use the first stall.

Big for their britches

2011-08-10T18:23:00.000-07:00

I was listening to a sermon the other day and the speaker was talking about education in America. As most of us know, we aren't doing as well as we would like to think. We can blame it on a lot of things but the proof is in the pudding. I see it day in and day out....students who have stable support at home, ALWAYS perform at a much higher level than students who do not.

John and I always laugh when we see bumper stickers that say, "my student is a terrific kid." These bumper stickers were designed to make the kids who didn't get the, "my student is an honor roll student" feel better about their lack of success. In America's schools, trust me when I say, the standard has been lowered so that everyone can feel good about themselves. We change grades, hand hold to avoid students failing (even after not completing their work), and I have even heard of parents convincing teachers that their child can't handle the emotional devestation of doing poorly and beg and plead for their grade to be increased. Our schools have taken the responsibilities off of the parents and students, and it's now the teachers responsibility to figure out a way to get all 90 students to pass, even when they refuse to do work.

So....during the sermon....the pastor was talking about research that he had studied showing that students who had a higher self-esteem, tested more poorly. My mind was blown because I have always been told to build the kids up, tell them they're wonderful. The study had found that students who were extremely self-confident, felt no desire to achieve more, learn more, or try harder because they already felt they were perfect.

I pondered the information I had heard and I'm beginning to think this makes sense. Students who are getting encouragement at home, don't necessarily need me to also convince them they are wonderful. If they want the honor roll bumper sticker, I'm not going to be the one to coddle them to it.

This year, several of my students are going to experience a little bit of a deflating process. Let's hope a little humility will also create in them a desire to push themselves.

Kids remember everything!

2011-08-09T19:27:00.000-07:00

John went to spend some one on one time with Michael today. I was working but it was great to hear about John and Michael's experience together.

At our first meeting we were having small, get to know eachother talk, and we were talking to Michael about the foods he likes to eat. I had asked what he likes to eat, and he commented, "I like pizza, but I don't like tomatoes or chicken salad." I then said, "that's ok, we don't like some foods too. John doesn't like vegetables."

Fast forward.

Today John sits down to have lunch with him and as they walk through the lunch line, Michael says to the cook, "this is John. He doesn't like vegetables but his wife makes him eat them."

lol. He keeps thinking my name is Kristy, but boy does he remember the vegetables comment. How does that work??

True Dat

2011-08-08T19:26:00.000-07:00

Meeting Michael

2011-08-06T12:35:00.000-07:00

Meeting Michael was a surreal experience....I think every emotion I was expecting to feel happened along with about 100 more! We first sat down and spoke with his therapist about about what to expect and how the next hour would go. We would present ourselves as "volunteers" until everything in the process of us being his foster parents was final. Michael walked into the room and everything I had pictured, vanished. He wasn't the red headed kid with freckles that I was preparing myself for, he was taller than I thought, glasses, and a really sweet face. He shook John's hand (at the age of 10) and was incredibly polite as we played games and just "hung out" getting to know him. His manners were mind blowing along with his calmness.

After playing a few "Go Fish" games, he then took us to see his room. Seeing where he stays was the hardest part for me. I put my smile on and seemed very excited but on the inside I just thought of how cold it felt. There were no photo's...not one, of his family or people close to him. H.E.A.R.T. B.R.E.A.K.I.N.G. The first item going in his room at the Crowley's Casa, is collage of photos of the fun things we will have done together. He needs something to remind him that people love him and I'm determined to have that start here.

Oh Michael.....I'm pretty sure you already have my heart.

Ode to my Mother

2011-08-03T18:22:00.000-07:00

I've only been married a year and already I feel that John and I have an inseparable bond, one that can only be broken by death. Yes, this is very ideal and "honeymoonish" but I truly feel that he is my partner for life, given to me by God. (sigh and blush)

Tonight I had dinner with a woman that I met a year ago in a restaraunt. She and her husband were out celebrating their anniversary, and John and I were out to celebrate a free dinner thanks to a gift card! We clicked at the restaraunt and have been getting coffee and meeting ever since. She is almost 60, has no daughters, and enjoys the relationship as I do. She is just one of those great women that is just a pleasure to know. Tonight she shared with me that her marriage is on the rocks and that she will most likely be stepping out of her marriage. I was shocked to say the least---they have been married for 29 years. She explained to me how she has always just dealt with the way he talks and treats her, she expressed her frustration that he doesn't man up and lead the marriage. Why aren't the men in our society leading marriages? I don't feel like this in my marriage but I see it so often and it's heart breaking! Men have no idea how to lead their families and wives then feel compelled to step up and run the show. How is this not being taught to men in church??

Then I look at my parents marriage. I don't know that my father always did everything right, but I know that for the majority of my parents marriage, my dad did everything he needed to so that our family would function successfully. He was the leader of our family and it was evident in his actions. After 25 years of marriage, my mother is remaining by my fathers side while he serves a 10 year prison term. Talk about marriage....talk about committment...my mother is laying that word to rest. God has given her a heart for my father and the strength it takes to survive in their marriage. My mom is rockin it out....setting the bar so high for my own marriage. If she can make it in that situation, how can I ever second guess my own marriage not working.

Mom-thank you for showing my true committment in marriage. Thank you for showing me that marriage is not about convenience, happiness, or comfort. You have taught me more about marriage than any other single person in my life and your actions speak louder than words.

What I'm not...or what I am

2011-08-01T18:56:00.000-07:00

John and I had the pleasure of spending a great weekend with some close friends from John's college. I haven't had the opportunity to really get to know them as they live several hours away but John spent years with them in college.

We walked into their adorable and gorgeous house to be greeted by their oldest son, Ethan, who is now 4 years old. He then rushed us upstairs to his bedroom to immediately begin playing. lol. Kids.....they are just so darn embracive!

So, the weekend continued with Ethan, Chandler, and their newest arrival, baby Kylee. We played numerous games, answered many "why" questions, and asked politely for "adult discussion time" with the parents (our friends) repeatedly.

We had such a sweet time with this family. They are so impressive with the way they are raising their children, I was consistantly baffled throughout the weekend!

After a short visit I left with a complete appreciation for parenthood. It was a great eye opener for what's to come in our lives so soon. No more sleeping in. No more quiet, and I mean quiet. No more having adult conversations without some form of interuption. No more eating first. No more sneaking cookies without someone watching.

Parenting is by far the most challenging experience and I just pray that John and I are some-what ready. Not experienced, but ready for the challenge.

This looks hard....yikes.

Over paid- just sayin!

2011-07-31T14:20:00.000-07:00

First the NFL lock out, then the NBA negotiations, and now US Airways pilots strike for higher pay.

My only question to these people: Why should you be treated different than any of the rest of the working force in America? If the rest of us would like a higher paying job, we leave our company and find a new one. You were hired at your determined salary. You accepted the job which means you accepted the salary. Professional athletes.....you make me sick complaining about millions of dollars per year. The rest of the world cannot hear your complaints.

I'm beginning to think every professional in America is going to strike for higher pay......well...I guess that opens up opportunities for the rest of us to make some changes. :)

Foster Meeting 1

2011-07-27T19:21:00.000-07:00

I sat at the kitchen table this morning eating my eggs and reading my bible in James ch.1. I love starting my day this way....it makes summer truly bliss!

Today was our first foster meeting with a group of professionals that work with Michael. As my eggs churned in my stomach, hanging on to every gut wrenching detail of his story, the bible verses I had read seaped back into my spirit. Thankfully.

I had read earlier this morning about being slow to speak, slow to anger, and quick to listen. I also read about how our anger does not produce the righteousness of God.

Fast forward to the meeting.....more than enough was said to make me literally disgusted and sick to my stomach. I fought back tears through the entire meeting....trying to maintain my level of anger and my tongue which so quickly wanted to speak. My hope was that when I left the meeting, the other adults in the room would perceive me as a Christ follower of grace, composure, and strength. I felt none of these but the Holy Spirit kept me together until my flesh got to the car and let loose in the privacy of my little dinged and scratched Hyundai Elantra. The tears came and the grieving for sin over flowed in my heart.

Our world is so entirely corrupt. It always has been and always will be until the final judgement. By only God's grace can we make humane and rational decisions. With God's wisdom we can make choices that are right and pure. With God's strength we can endure the hurt that this fallen world has to offer.

I need Grace. Strength. Wisdom.

...and I need it by December when Michael gets here! Pray Pray Pray!!

Good things forgotten

2011-07-26T08:39:00.000-07:00

It has always blown me away to continually see how much John LOVES SpringHill Camps; a full inclusion christian camp for kids 1st grade-12th grade. We made time on our visit to Michigan to stop and enjoy all the sweetness of the place where we met! (sigh)

I was reminded of why he loves it so much....there is just no place like it! We can't wait to send our kids there!!! Jesus. Worship. Relationships.

(Chuck Wagon Donuts....yes they require their own box)

Step 1

2011-07-17T14:48:00.001-07:00

So many people are unfamiliar with the fostering process; as John and I explore it for ourselves, I'm trying to document the process in hopes to be informative for people. I truly believe it's something so many people can do if they feel called to!

Now that we have a child that is potentially ours, our first step in the process is to meet with our case manager, the childs parents, and the psychologist. My heart is trying to prepare for this as I already feel negatively towards his parents. We don't have the full story on his background but from what I know, it's nothing to be happy about. It's heart-wrenching. I have to remind myself that God has given me an abundance of grace and forgiveness and I must do the same. (I'm not good at this....ever)

The objective of the first meeting is to learn more information on Michael and feel out the situation to see if everyone agrees that him staying with us is the right fit. It feels so odd to me....walking into a situation where we can be easily rejected just based on our age, childless experience, and anything else.

Grace. Grace. Grace.

Blast from the Past

2011-07-14T22:28:00.000-07:00

This past weekend we were in Michigan! Oh, how I've missed cool summer nights and slightly brisk mornings up north. One of the many fabulous festivities was throwing a wedding shower for one of my near and dear college friends, Megan.

Whoever said college was the best time of your life was either lieing or kidding themselves. Working, studying, being poor, weight change, and all the other GREAT parts about college have not convinced me it was the time of my life. Thank the Lord for post college adulthood :) Love it!

(College Friends/roomates 2005)

(College Friends/roomates 2011)

John and I met working at church camp. SpringHill will always be near and dear to our hearts and the people are really what make the place so special. This past weekend some friends of ours that started dating the same summer we did at camp, got hitched! We were able to see awesome friends that feel like family. It was a stunning wedding with fabulous friends!! Yet another, blast from the somewhat past!

(camp-2007)

(camp friends-2011)

The Big News

2011-07-13T09:30:00.000-07:00

My fingers cant type fast enough.....

Yesterday we got a call from our case manager with foster care. WHOA!!!! As soon as the phone rang my stomach jumped and I knew exciting news was on the other line. After talking with Thompson (the organization we are fostering through) we could not be more excited about the little guy that is soon coming to the Crowley house!!

Our situation with this child is a little unique. Michael (the little guy) is very curious and particular as to who will be his foster parents. John and I will be going to meet him in the next few weeks to feel out if the situation is right for both him and us. Michael will be turning 11 soon which is the age John and I both teach at school. I feel pretty comfortable with this age group as I've been working with 11 year olds for years at school.

If the pairing is a match, Michael will potentially move in sometime in October. In the meantime, we will spend time with him at the facility he is currently in on a weekly basis to help build the relationship before he moves in.

Wow----my emotions feel like a rollercoaster of fear and excitement! Please pray that if Michael is not the right fit that God provides him with the right family to love him....he deserves it. Please also pray for wisdom for John and I. We definitely do not know how to parent a middle schooler....but we are up for the challenge!

More to come :)

Vintage Style

2011-07-11T17:21:00.000-07:00

The art teacher at our school also has the gift of photography. She approached John and I asking if she could "try out" a vintage shoot with us as her canvas.....ummmm....yes please :) HOW FUN!

So....John and I sat and stared off into space and her camera and editing magic did the rest!

Thank you Melissa---we love them and we are so honored you asked us!

Sweet Summer

2011-07-02T08:55:00.000-07:00

Can't wait for what July has to hold.....weddings, weddings and more weddings. Mom moving....music in the park.....drive-in....can't wait!!!

Cards and Crap

2011-06-21T17:57:00.000-07:00

I got a call from my dad on Father's Day. No, he didn't call because he wanted a salute, he called on Sunday because I asked him to.

Towards the end of our private and long conversation (yeah right), I said to him, "Dad, I know your card hasn't gotten there yet because I just put it in the mail. I'm so sorry it's late."

My dad then responds, "Kylie, I could care less about a card. There are just too many good things going on right now to be worried about a card."

lol.

wow.

It happens every single week when we have our 15 minute, tapped conversation. I am kindly reminded (not intentionally) that I take everything for granted and that my perspective is so tainted. Here I am, stressing over everything in life that seems like crap, except what really matters. Here he is, worrying about nothing in life except what does matter.

For him to even have the peace to say, "there are just too many good things" is a miracle in itself. God has given beyond measure, the peace that I have prayed for him. God blows me away. In a tiny cell, with nothing, God has shown him the goodness and he has received it.

Thank you Lord, you have truly given me the best father to show me faith and peace.

Happy Father's day Dad!

Shoe's with Soul

2011-06-19T15:47:00.001-07:00

I feel like my husband and I have very different ideas on fashion. Don't get me wrong...when he cleans up there is just no denying his serious amount of sexiness. When it comes to everyday wear, he seems to lean on the casual side and I tend to still enjoy heels and ruffled tops.

One area we do agree on is supporting people. Clothes and supporting people has finally collided in our world and I'm pretty pumped with John's stylish choice.

I had first heard of "Tom's" when I saw my kids wearing them at school. They caught my attention more as a trend than an actual fashion statement. I had no idea how awesome they were until John stated that he too would like a pair.

My first reaction was, "Really? Those?"

John then pulls up the website and fills me in on how phenominal the Tom's brand really is. For every pair of shoes you buy, they donate a pair to a child overseas. This company has donated over 1 million pairs of shoes in just a few years. PRETTY SWEET!! The company noted that several diseases are caused by soil and the feet being infected. To help-they created the Tom's brand of shoes. The company has also found that schools overseas require children to have shoes in order for students to register---problem solved :)

SO--as of this week John will be getting a new pair of shoes and so will a needy child in a poor country. I'm stoked! I can't honestly say that I'm dieing to have a pair because they really aren't my style, but I can definitely see myself adding this style into my wardrobe for the simple fact that I can't wait to promote this product! Love seeing other people share God's blessings!!!!

2 pairs of shoes= 44.00
Shipping online= 9.00
kids getting shoes= priceless :)

Sigh...

2011-06-14T20:13:00.000-07:00

It is finished.

Not only did Jesus say this on the cross prior to his last breath, but I too said this today as I walked out of school into the world of freedom for the next 7 weeks. Amen!

John and I have quickly filled our summer with a significant amount of tutoring, traveling to spend time with people, book club, working on home improvement projects, and serving at a few ministry organizations this summer.

This will be my first summer since 8th grade that I'm not working a typical 50 hour a week job and I couldn't be more excited.

Here's to summer.....and all the joy it's already bringing!

Church Done Right

2011-06-12T19:31:00.000-07:00

John and I traveled to Southbend, Indiana this weekend for a close friends wedding....long drive but worth the trip!

Today we went with my brother to his church in Dayton, Ohio called APEX. I was a little nervous going into it because he had told me about how it was a "house church" or something of that nature. We went to what they call a "gathering" which is what most other people call "church." Today was the perfect week to go because they were talking about how they started the church 10 years ago and why they run the church the way they do. I was impressed.

During the week, the body (believers in Jesus Christ) meet in home churches and study the word, worship, and pray together. Sunday mornings all of the home churches meet together for what they call a "gathering" which is corporate worship and a message from the pastor.

The pastor said, "we can't call this "gathering" church because church is defined in the Bible as the body of believers. Our home churches are "church" because that is for those who have professed to be Christians. This "gathering" is full of non-believers, believers, and those who think they are believers. Therefore, we do not call this church."

OMG---a pastor who completely gets it. He preached the gospel today. He mentioned Jesus 95 times and only gave Credit to God for the huge amount of growth in the church. He talked more about how if he were to die, that the church would still go on because at APEX it's about the mission-not the man/pastor. They are opening a new church and their church will now have 2 men preaching. He said it doesn't matter if he preaches, or the other pastor preaches because it's just not important. The word of God is important. (make me melt!)

Beautiful Sunday morning---one of the most unique churches I have been to with a mindblowing BIBLICAL perspective. HOW REFRESHING!

God hates it

2011-06-08T18:22:00.000-07:00

It's a little embarassing to admit, but yes, I'm still watching other peoples kids at the age of 27. People think I'm crazy when they hear that.....half the time I think I'm crazy too. I dont necessarily enjoy it all of the time, but I enjoy the financial comforts as a result of it. I pretty much stick with the same family I've had for the past 3 years and they thankfully have always taken very good care of me.

I was at their house tonight and the 2 year old girl hit her older sister and then started throwing objects. Mom hadn't left yet so after I watched this happen I got down on my knees next to her, and told her it wasn't nice to throw and hit her sister, etc. in my "not happy" voice. Firm but not yelling.

Mom walks in the room (whom I love) and says "oh she's just frustrated because she's tired."

OK--so we saw the situation completely differently but regardless-she's the mom.

I don't really know what made me think of this but it came to my mind quickly.

So many times in my day, I rationalize WHY i'm sinning against God. Most of the time I have a really good reason for it (or so I would like to think). Usually it's because i'm frustrated, jealous, angry, bitter, etc.

God though, hates my sin. He doesn't rationalize it. He doesn't excuse it. The bible shows us time after time how much God hates our sin......he flooded the world because of sin. He wiped away an entire city because of sin. Battles were lost because of sin. God despises sin.

Fortunately for us, we have God's grace and he forgives our sin. I think so many pastors today promote grace and forget about how God views our sin before we repent.

Maybe if I started thinking about how much God hates my sin before I sin, I wouldn't sin.

1 year down.....endless to go!

2011-05-31T18:18:00.000-07:00

John and I celebrated our 1 year anniversary with a trip to Ocean Isle. Quiet beach, John's undivided attention (other than ESPN playing while I showered and got ready for dinner), sun, great books, and of course the Ocean Isle Creamery! Our little mini-vacay was amazing and we were thrilled to be able to go for a short break from the real world.

I'm sort of a fan of cheese....so one of John's little suprises was a custom made (thanks to our great Artsy friends-Crystal and Darryn) "message in a bottle." Thankfully John decided to go for a run before dinner which gave me the perfect opporunity to bury the bottle. I decided to wait for him to return (standing somewhat close to the bottle so no little kids decided it was their new bucket for sand castle making) and as he returned all out of breath and sweaty, I nervously waited for him to "discover" the bottle. So I casually walk closer to the bottle but didn't look to the ground so that he would find it himself. He finally does, after much waiting, and decides to pick it up. He rolls the bottle around and reads the paint which reads "May 30th, 2010." He says, "hmmmm" and puts the bottle down.

UNBELIEVABLE.

So I say, "aren't you going to look in it?"
John says, "no, its not my bottle. someone must have left it here."
I then say, "well, just pick it up and lets see what it says."
John says, "I don't think we should, its not ours."

Ok---at this point I'm thinking of taking the bottle from his hands and giving him a passionate tap on the head.

Finally, he feels moral about getting the message from the bottle and realizes my cheesey idea has come full circle. He loved the message, I was bummed with the delivery.

When the Message in a Bottle movie and book were made, it didn't happen that way!!!

Silent Reading

2011-05-26T19:34:00.000-07:00

For the simple matter of my sanity and well being, today was a "silent reading day" in class. This literally means what is says...silent. read. today.

So, as I was cleaning up my desk, entering grades, and responding to parents e-mails, one of my students walks up to me and says, "Mrs. Crowley, what does this word mean?"

I look up to see which word she is pointing to and to my suprise she is reading her bible. Hmmmmm.....so cool and so surprising at the same time. I get a huge smile on my face and finally look to the page to see the word she cannot understand.

"circumsized"

Great.

My response: "I'm not sure what that word means. Just skip it and keep reading."

Words like this are not in my 6th grade vocabulary. I'll leave that up to Mom.

Close Your Eyes

2011-05-24T15:02:00.000-07:00

I just want to crawl into a hole and pray for Jesus return.

So much destruction. So much pain and hurt in our broken world.

Our only hope is Christ.....I'm clinging to it as natural disasters take lives, divorces take marriagse, sickness takes health, and sin takes eternity.

Psalms 130:5
5 I wait for the LORD, my whole being waits,
and in his word I put my hope.

Mom's Moving

2011-05-22T18:56:00.000-07:00

One of the most amazing things about the challenges we have faced as a family with my dad's situation, is the endless faithfulness that God has blessed our family with. He has provided for our needs every single step of the way. Every. Single. Step.

It's so scary when I get into bed at night and think of my mom by herself, no family around, no one to watch out for her. Over the last two years, God has really given her an abundance of strength and given us peace about letting go of the control we would like to have and giving it to him. The most real experience I have had with God has been in this situation with my mom....he has really ripped control from my hands and shown me that he has a divine plan for his children.

We are going on 3 years this fall without my dad and in a few weeks my mom will move yet again, and take in my grandpa with her to care for him. I am so thankful that the Lord has given her a great home that fits her needs and budget, that my grandpa and Mom can enjoy eachother before he passes, and that he continues to exceed her needs. God, you are so good in the big things AND the small things. You have never been more real to me!

The world is ending

2011-05-19T18:09:00.000-07:00

There's a preacher that believes he has calculated when Jesus will return and take the Christians to heaven. Pretty brilliant if he's right. Unfortunately, this preacher miscalculated in the 1990's (according to an unreliable news source) but is confident that several earthquakes will take place on Saturday and as a result the world will end. I have no idea myself so I'm not really denying it or banking on it...when God says it's time-it's time. I'm goin with that!

Even more shocking than the world ending this Saturday, is the pet policy that Christians have taken out to ensure that when Jesus takes them to heaven, their pet is well cared for. REALLY? For a low price of 135.00 per pet, an atheist has promised to come and get your pets when you go off to heaven to be with Jesus. Send me the form--sign me up.

Here's my point, if Eternal Earth-Bound Pets company is telling people they will watch their pets when they are taken to heaven, they must believe it's really going to happen. This gives me hope that these people might see the light before it's too late.

On a side note, one of my students raised his hand in class today and asked me if the world is ending on Saturday. I know this student is a christian and I replied, "I don't really know. Either way, I know where I'm going and it doesn't really matter to me, when." He smiled and accepted! I'll see him there I'm sure of it!

If the world ends on Saturday....I hope you aren't around to water my plants. I pray you are with Jesus in Heaven---cause it's gonna be AWESOME.

They make me smile

2011-05-18T20:19:00.000-07:00

I was thinking about the little things that brighten my day and these three came to mind.

Can we say cutest thing ever?? My brother makes some beautiful babies!!

Material Goods

2011-05-15T14:23:00.000-07:00

I have become a word of mouth junkie---for everything! Where to eat, what to buy, vacation spots, cooking, clothes, anything and everything I seem to buy, do or eat, I heard about from someone else. I love the idea of taking other peoples suggestions because it takes all of the risk out of my hands!

I was at a wedding a few weeks ago and while us girls were putting our make up on, the bride was telling me about a product she uses by a company called "Two faced" and it's "Eye Shadow Insurance."

Now....there aren't too many things that really blow me away in life....but this did!!!! My eye make up is usually off by the time I get to work. UNTIL NOW. This stuff is worth every penny!

I came home from the work the other day and John said, "wow, you look really good today." I knew it was my makeup because usually when I get home, I'm lookin rough.

Thank you Morgan for the awesome suggestion---I really don't think I can ever go without it now :)

Calling all People

2011-05-14T09:35:00.000-07:00

The Charlotte Fire department was at our house for our final inspection and the captain of the unit made the strangest remark to John. He said, "Wow! Your house is gorgeous. Whoever decorated this did an awesome job. This is by far the nicest house we've been in for these inspections."

Thank you for the compliment on our house but talk about heart breaking. He thought our little 90 thousand dollar home with TJ Maxx, Homegoods decor was the nicest he's been in for foster children. Really?

The more and more I think about this comment the more saddened I am with the state of peoples hearts. Not everyone has to want to foster children but when you compare the number of children who need a home with the number of people who have a home and wont even consider it--pretty heart breaking. Of course we all want to say, "we just can't right now. It's not the right season of our life. We have so much going on right now." Those words are filled with valid reason and concern but also excuses.

God commands in the Bible that we care for the elderly and the orphans. (He also commands many other things like love, repentance, and so on but todays focus is just one of these commands) To be so truly blessed, as we clearly are in America, (if you own 2 cars, have food in the pantry, and you have clothes---consider yourself in the 3% of those in the entire world with those needs met) we have to consider the ways we can bless others with what we have been given.

I mess up in a lot of areas, I fail at so many of God's commands on daily basis, I fall short consistantly. I just hope to encourage one person who has never considered opening their blessings to someone who literally has NOTHING. We can't even imagine that. If you're reading this....you have a computer and internet--thats huge! These kids simply have NOTHING and I see so many people in the world that could do something to help, even in a small way, and just may not even realize they can.

If you've never considered foster care......let the idea sit on your plate for a while. It really might not be the time or thing for you....but it's something to give thought to. There are too many loving, phenominal people in the world just holding their gifts and blessings not realizing what they have to share with others!

Kids and Guns

2011-05-10T16:00:00.000-07:00

Today started like any other day....I was running late, I didn't like my hair, and my outfit was thrown together last minute. All of these things meaningless in the grand scheme of things...but all daily routines!

Part way through my work day, I learned that an 8th grade student had brought an unloaded gun to school. At first I was shocked and once I learned who brought the gun, I was literally stunned. I know this student and his reputation at the school is pretty respectable. He is not your "A" student, but he tries, is very likeable, and really has a good attitude in general. As a teacher, he brings flavor to the classroom and offers some much needed comic relief when the situation arises.

The news vans pulled up, parents were informed and the long journey for this student began.

So many times I've heard about school shootings and students with guns, and my first reaction is...punish the jerk! But now that the drama is happening in my own school with some of my own students, the reaction is so much more personal. The student who brought the gun, acted out of his typical character. He didn't have bullets. It was his first offense. He has a family. He made a mistake.

Maybe that whole "grace" concept is actually soaking in. Normally, my heart would evaluate wrong and right, but this time I'm seeing the different shades of the situation.

Brendy

2011-05-08T12:15:00.001-07:00

Being married has changed my persepctive on a lot of things....including parenting! I was sitting in church today thinking of the things I learned from my mom that I will definitely do with my own children. My mom did so many things right as a parent and I really respect the way she raised us. It wasn't perfect (who is?) but it was effective.

-When I have children....I hope I don't prioritize them over my marriage, God, or others needs in the moment. My mom always did a GREAT job of making sure that we understood as her children, that the world did not revolve around us. So, when someone called that needed her or my dads help--that need came before our desires. I can remember that my mom had to miss a few of my softball games because she was taking a dinner to someone who just lost a family member, or playing in her church volleyball game. It taught me so much about putting others before yourself and really instilled servanthood into my blood. Us kids were confident that she loved us more than anything and I love that she didn't feed into selfishness just to make our desires come before everyone else in the world.

-When I have children....I hope I'm their parent before I'm their friend. My mom did not care if what the other kids had was cool or not, she had no desire to be our "friend" and buy us the latest thing that everyone else had. My mom was a great listener and advice giver, but it was always from a parental standpoint, never a friend.

-When I have children.....I hope I can master the art of teaching them to be mindful and thoughtful. My mom often said to me "well.....how do you think that would make her feel?" She always brought my emotions back to the other persons feelings. Their feelings needed to come before my own and with this came thoughtfulness. She trained me to be mindful of peoples feelings and initiate them before they happen. I have no clue how to teach that.

So these are my big 3 from mom. I'm sure my children will be born with these out of the womb and my job will be simple. (yeah right)

Happy Mother's Day Mom!! I hope I can do for my kids, what you have done for me.
I love you!

Double Fold

2011-05-05T14:50:00.000-07:00

The bible promises many things and one of those are finances. When we allow God to lead our lives he promises to meet our NEEDS. Sometimes my bratty self thinks this should include a new wardrobe but that is not a need and was never promised.

So many people have a fogged perception of teachers and salaries and time off. Having the summer off is of course an amazing bonus to my job. The only evil that comes with that is I really don't take a summer off because there are no pay checks in the summer. SO, in conclusion, summers off= 2 months of panic and no pay!

The past few months John and I have prayed and prayed that God would bless our summer tutoring program with enough kids to cover our summer bills. We are partnering together to offer a 2 hour program of curriculum for students once a week.

After much prayer and planning, God blew us away with the final number. I had prayed for 20 kids and God brought over 35!!! I am so in awe of his grace and ability to exceed my needs and expectations. He has all of the glory for our "summer of bliss!"

Now that I wont have a typical full time job as usual this summer, I am starting to line up volunteer days with different organizations I am passionate about in Charlotte. I can't wait to serve this summer because I want to, because I have genuine time to, and because GOD has allowed me to.

As always, my God is all I need and in him all my needs are fulfilled!

Mark the Day

2011-05-02T19:02:00.000-07:00

I will never say it enough...I am so thankful for our freedoms in this country. I am so thankful to the troops who sacrifice their physical bodies, their luxuries, and their family time for me. Thank you!

May 1, 2011: 11 p.m. (newscast of death)

Good bye Osama Bin Laden.
Earthly justice has prevailed for those whom have feared and experienced your evil acts.
I am sincerely heartbroken knowing that you will most likely burn in hell for eternity and for that I am regretful of your death. I wish you would have let Jesus lead your life.

You like so many of us on earth still living, made a choice and unfortunately you made so many wrong ones. The worst though, was living a life without repentence.

American Troops--thank you for never giving up.
George Bush--thank you for starting what needed to be finished.
President Obama--continuing the Bush's administration pursuit was a wise choice.

Questionable

2011-05-01T18:35:00.000-07:00

This time of year is always a stresser for me. In two weeks my students will be tested to determine if I actually taught them, or made them dumber. Pretty stressful when they bust out the bar graph and present it to you like a life evaluation which determines success as a human being. Yuck!

My thing is, I don't believe in the test or the process. Do I think teachers should be held accountable...yes! Do I think testing is a good idea....yes! The problem is that it's only one test, one day, once per year. So, if little Johnny wakes up and decides he doesn't really feel like making a valid effort on the test, my butt is to blame by assuming he didn't learn and I'm at fault. It's also a little stressful that math and language arts are currently the state tested subjects. Pressure. Pressure. Pressure.

I rest assured in one simple thing every year.....I adore my kids and they return the adoration. To me, I've done what some other people never can in life. I literally impact my kids and I thrive on the fact that parents and students will share with me how successful they have become as an overall person. Now how can that be measured into a bar graph??

Praying the kids "feel" like having a good test day May 16th!
Wow---4 years of teaching down....crazy!

White is the new black

2011-04-27T15:16:00.001-07:00

I have found myself falling into this bottomless pit of little white lies lately. And by lies, I'm talking about avoiding the truth to spare someones feelings or prevent stress in a situation that does not need additional hassle. For example, I was talking with someone today about how to handle a job situation and I found myself guiding them to just tell the potential employer you are not interested because.....blah blah blah. Now, if an honest answer were given, the employer would take offense and any potential in the future would be ruined. So, I suggested that this person just avoid the truth and give a very nice response.

Another example.....
I made plans to spend time with a friend which I really wanted to do. Something came up with an outside conflict that could not be avoided and instead of just telling my friend about the conflict, I came up with an entirely different reason. I felt like this new reason wouldn't sound so harsh or make them feel like this conflict is more important than our friendship. So...feelings were sparred but guilt was added.

UUgggghhhhh......these little "whites" are eating me up.

My mom has always told me I'm a "stresser." I've had an ulcer since 3rd grade and find myself constantly worrying about peoples feelings and thoughts, so much so that I get physically ill. For what?

I think the Bible commands truth because it's the only way to be real and trustworthy. The little "whites" are preventing hurt feelings but uncovered they are damaging to my character and reputation. I am more concerned with peoples feelings instead of how I represent myself. This is the point where I'd like to say I'll stop. I'll move on into a new form of myself that is only a truth teller and all feelings will just have to deal. Truth is----this is hard. I don't even know where to start!

Who wants privacy?

2011-04-18T18:37:00.000-07:00

Facebook.

I am literally amazed on a daily basis at the amount of information that people are willing to disclose on facebook. It's so strange that the human has changed so drastically of wanting privacy to intentionally informing the world on....bathroom experiences, photos, daily, scratch that...hourly updates. I'm not really sure why people even get upset anymore and use the term "it's none of your business" when everyones business is published for the world to follow.

There has to be a line and whats scary is that the line is quickly disapearing. Yes, facebook has been great for keeping in touch with people but there seems to be a lack of intimacy with that. It's just so normal to now see women displaying their pregnant bellies for everyone to gawk at, or update status on how your fighting or mad at your significant other, or informing the world on personal family news that probably shouldn't be spread.

I don't know why this bothers me so much. I've had more than one friend tell me in the past few weeks the venom that facebook has been when they really sit down and evaluate. If everyone were honest with themselves, I think we could all agree that it either creates jealousy, stalker tendencies, or it wastes a SIGNIFICANT amount of precious life time looking into other peoples lives instead of treasuring our own.

Facebook now gets about 15 minutes of my time on a daily basis. Anything beyond that is taking too high of a priority in my life....slowly creeping in to bring me down.

Facebook has it's place......

Spring is in the Air

2011-04-14T19:27:00.000-07:00

Spring Break is t-minus 18 hours away and my heart is fluttering! Could not be more excited for the busy but o so fun and relaxing week!!

My mom and brother are coming into town for a much needed visit--we have lots of fun things planned.

As for the break part of spring break----just the break of being away from the kids is break enough. I'll be ready to return to work but will fully embrace a little time away from the little ones :)

Good bye middle school attitude-hello spring break!

Eco Map

2011-04-09T08:06:00.000-07:00

This past Thursday night was our final 3 hour class for foster parenting. It was a little emotional, an overabundance of joy and eye opening to say the least. Our final project for the class was to create an ECO-Map which is basically a giant bubble -graphic organizer that categorizes things. Our categories were to focus on people and events that take energy and give energy to us.

When I first started my poster I zipped through the first 5 bubbles of the given things that give and take energy: family, inlaws, teaching, church, marriage. I color coated my connection lines to indicate if they were positive energy sources or negative.

I sat there and stared, thinking how pathetic my project was and knew that when we got to class other people will have invested time into their project in order to actually learn from it. SO...bubbling away I went!

God used this project to absolutely confirm in me the support system we have surrounding us. The people God has given us that really build us up, push us to make the right choices in our life, and the people we are trying to share Jesus with in our lives. All of the people on our ECO-MAP require energy from us and most of those people return energy making it a perfect balance.

After completing the project I can easily say I am BLESSED beyond measure with amazing people in my life. I was literally shocked at how many people were on my poster that are considered our support system and God overwhelmed me with an unexplainable peace that John and I can do what he has set before us to do. God will give us wisdom and strength and the people he puts in our life will offer secondary support that is priceless through the fostering process.

I also realized I only had 2 bubbles on my chart that I consider semi-negative energy that can suck the life out of me quickly. I keep these people at arms reach and will continue to force myself to give energy to them but not receive their negative energy.

So, I guess this is it. We wait for the state to approve our paperwork and then wait some more for Thompson's to place the right child in our care. Wow--this is getting real, really fast!

Happy Holidays!

2011-04-08T18:30:00.000-07:00

John and I are not normally gift givers; we decided at the beginning of our relationship that we would have experiences together but try not to focus on gifts as a sign of importance.

But, this year I switched things up a bit because I knew there was something that John had his heart set on. He grew up in Detroit and for some unknown reason has a true pride for the motor city. In all his life he has never really been to watch the Red Wings play at the Detroit Arena because tickets are easily over a hundred bucks a piece. He knew that they were playing in Raleigh, NC against the Hurricanes, so I bought tickets as a Valentines/Birthday Gift surprise!!

We took the day off work, stayed the night in Raleigh and had a blast doing the whole thing. Hockey isn't really my thing....it takes way too long to score which really takes my interest level down but John loved it and I loved seeing him love it.

Another great memory to add to the collection!

(Thanks for the free hats, but they have the wrong team)

A little eager

2011-04-05T18:46:00.000-07:00

The first thing we changed when we bought our house was the front landscaping. It was a weed bed when we moved in as our house had not been lived in for the previous 5 years. So---off I went to the farmers market and my little green thumb and I went to work. As the photo clearly shows....it's just breathtaking in the winter months.

Fast forward.....

After being in the house for 2 years, I'm realizing how over rated flowers are and how rediculous I was to plant flowering plants instead of GREEN bushes. I hate the way my house looks in the winter because flowering bushes die off and wait until spring to make an appearance; this results in a very unattractive front yard for 4 months!

So, thanks to my lovely husband, this year he ripped up all of our hard work from last year and re-planted the good stuff. We are off to a great start for this summer and I'm just tickled pink with the beginning stages.

After planting I was a little over eager and we purchased two of the biggest and most sensational hanging plants I have ever seen. Well, those are dead now due to the cold and 20.00 is down the drain! I'm holding off another 2 weeks and we will finish off the front with mulching and planting around the mailbox and tree, adding potted plants, and hanging plants....the look is getting there and soon to be complete! I can't wait!!!

(not to mention....the gardner is these pictures is just HOT.....thank the Lord we have more yard work to do so I can see him again ;)

It's raining Babies!

2011-04-04T17:55:00.000-07:00

This weekend I had the pleasure to help host a baby shower for one of the sweetest women I know. She is truly feminine, graceful, and one of the kindest women I think I have ever met. She truly challenges me to bite my tongue when wanting to speak negatively about someone else, just by being around her positive attitude.

I met Maria at orientation 4 years ago. We had lunch together on the lawn and have built a great friendship ever since! She and her husband have been married for 4 years and I cannot wait to see her dream of motherhood come to life. Being a mom is the one thing Maria has had her heart set on and I couldn't be happier for her!