Eyes wide open

This weekend was our first real experience as foster parents---we had a live one! :)

Brianna was such a treat---totally sweet girl---soooo much potential (she is so smart)--and really an outgoing and fun personality. All in all, we had a pretty easy kid to have a trial run on.

When we agreed to take Brianna, it was a very open ended placement. With this, we and the agency agreed that because it was so last minute, that we should take the weekend with her and get a feeling if the situation would work or not. The idea was to then re-group on Monday and figure out where to go from here.

The weekend was nothing like I expected. To say the least, it was the most eye opening weekend I think I have ever experienced. Not because of the child, because of me.

John and I have no kids, pets, family in the area...nothing. It's just been he and I for 4 years now. Adding an addition into our home was a challenge for me personally. I really felt extremely unsettled the entire weekend, feeling like we had gotten in way over our heads way too fast. We went from us.....to being parents of a teenager. I now have the greatest respect for any parent and this experience gave me a whole new level of compassion for my students parents at work.

After much debate and prayer (from ourselves and faithful friends/family) we have come to the conclusion that we will start with respit care and see where the Lord leads us from there. Respit care is on-call care for kids who are between homes and need a place to stay for 2-3 days. This will give us the opportunity to take things at a slower pace, learn as we go, and still contribute to fostering at a level that we feel capable of.

The decision was so hard to make. John is more confident in our abilities than I am.....I just don't feel ready. It's an indescribable lack of peace that I can't explain and until you experience the situation---I just can't explain it.

We are so grateful that God has given us the opportunity to foster---no matter what the capacity. We definitely want to pour into these kids whether its for a weekend, or a month. They really are such cool kids with SO much personality :)

Here's to a new perspective......