Some days are harder than others but not a day goes by that I dont ache on my insides thinking of my family situation. Not a feeling of pity or shame, just a feeling of emptiness.
My mom went to visit my dad this weekend---this being the first time they have been together in a year and a half! It's the first time they have really hugged and been able to talk freely. I was ecstatic for the trip because I knew after going to see him in May, that my mom would feel much more at ease being able to see where he is at. I knew the both of them would be like two teenagers in love....just soaking up every bitter sweet moment the weekend had to offer.
Although it was a wonderful weekend for them, it was just hard. I talked to my mom every moment of the trip via text or phone call. Hearing that my dad cried literally broke my heart into a million pieces that I dont feel I have the strength to pick up right now. I cried wanting to be there...sort of feeling like a family. I swallowed down bitterness through the entire weekend and shut out my feeling of hatred.
Oh this trial is so telling---so telling of what we are made of and the God we reflect.
Plans are brewing for this family.....to represent a sense of normal.
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