I am finding myself really struggling with insecurity lately. It's been so hard for me to shake, so hard that I feel its an attack in the area that gets me the most.
Some people are weak in areas of sexual temptation, drunkenness, gossip, and greed....i am too, but the weakest area for me is insecurity. It's not in who I am, who Christ is in me, or what my future holds. It's insecurity beyond my control-its my security in relationship with others. I have this tendency to feel extremely nervous and cautious with females that I'm in friendships with. I take everything to heart, every comment, look, and gesture. I leave a conversation analyzing everything that was said picking apart every word and phrase. It's eating me up!!
I'm praying it up....It's all that will cure this. I'm at this point where I feel like I'm chasing something and its security. Only God can bring real security to my life and I'm allowing man to do that.
I feel like my expectations in people are too high, the pedestal is only big enough for Jesus to stand on. I'm continually let down....but I'm the one doing it to myself. I'm allowing the thoughts in my head and I allow it to control my emotions.
I'm done. So over this.
Lord-fill me so that all I want is you! Lord- help me to see that friends can be trusted and that friends all have different expectations of friendships.
"Be anxious for nothing but with prayer and petition make your request known to God."
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